THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME STRIKES BACK

[eppy]

TEST DRIVE MEME

 

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some dude | some old movie trilogy

[renault]

[ He's either randomly wandering the halls or-- Doing something else. FIGURE SOME META, I'M NEW FISH, WHAT IS GOING ONNNN. ]

[carbonite]

(Isn't he lucky that the bestest friend in the entire galaxy is also in the halls.)

... Lando? (WELL ISN'T THIS GREAT.)

dana scully | the original supernatural series

[truthspoke]

[ Don't mind her -- or actually mind her taking a look at some random ass painting left there by Smiley. Her arms are folded across her chest, one eyebrow raised.

It's just a goddamn smiley but man. ] Vacations weren't supposed to include this kind of crap.

[ Nor were they supposed to include all the odd assortment of people she had run into earlier on, none of which really made any sense, but she'd put two and two together as time went by. ]

dana hi

[virtuoso]

[ sherlock notices her staring, and he joins her. joins her in staring, anyway. he doesn't actually say anything for a while, crossing his arms over his chest, one hand lifting to rub idly at his mouth as he considers the painting.

there are a lot of things he could actually say, most of them hypothetically useful. he opts for something slightly less so. ]

I hope it's paid.

[ which makes no sense. he's alright with that, but he does actually clarify a second later, giving her a quick glance. ]

Your holiday. I imagine it might be somewhat extended.

Mathilda | Léon: The Professional

[okayokay]

[The 1990s had not equipped her to deal with this whole picture phone thing, making the angle not exactly right. But she has bigger problems. In her hand is what used to be a cigarette but is now little more than a drenched blob of what happens when paper meets tube glue. The barely-a-teen offers a scowl to the camera.]

This is such shit. The future's suppose to be better, right? That's what all those assholes on TV said. You don't even have a 7/11. Who sells the cigarettes?

SCREE OH MY GOD Mathilda *A*

[theshabbiestofmen]

No cigarettes. Sorry. We have little devices that enable us to communicate with one another instantly across a vast distance, though, so I believe it's rather an equal trade.

robin sparkles | space teens (oh man i wish i were sorry)

[sparkled]

[ ok there may or might not have been uncomfortably loud yelling and a big fat what the hell just happened?! when she slipped out of the tube. thankfully that got someone's attention, got here a little help to the showers where she could calm down and clean herself off. number tattoo on her arm and ok this is all scary and weird and what the hell is going on. she breathes. she can handle this.

but dripping wet and wrapped in a towel, the outfit she finds in the locker all hung up and complete with blonde wig is the last thing she wants to see. ]

Nope! I am not wearing this and this is not happening right now!

[ at least there's a bottle of scotch to go with it. and her gun. it feels like she's going to need both of those things sooner rather than later. ]

Njoki Rainmaker | OC

[aldabeyoun]

[Before the images focuses, there's a bit of muttered swearing in the background in a heavy West African francophone accent. As Njoki gets the camera better set up, the video feed shows a rather butch young woman. Behold, one werehyena for all your necromantic needs.]

Well, shit. How many Kansas jokes do you usually get around here?

koltira deathweaver | warcraft

[deadelfwalking]

[He had not expected to wake up here. His last memory before this moment is of hooks, tearing into his skin and breaking apart his armor. He was bound for the bowels of the Undercity. For torture. For re-education.

He supposes those things still aren't out of the question. But this ship is most assuredly not the Undercity.

Koltira stalks the halls, his sword brandished, his posture defensive. He expects a hostile engagement. Part of him thinks this is a carefully crafted apothecary's illusion, some piece in a plan to drive him mad. The ship is beyond the imagination of his tormentors, though. It's real, vast, and inexplicable.

Probably.]

If this is an illusion, I won't succumb to it.

w/e w/e

[rotations]

It's not an illusion.

[ it's a spaceship. which isn't really odd, even if it's the most impractical design sam's ever seen, and he's supposed to be on earth. this isn't earth. but it's real enough and familiar enough despite the awful interior design, so probably not an illusion.

giant elf with a sword, on the other hand. ]

But I'm thinking you are.

Rai | Lamento ~beyond the void~

[lostwarmth]

[ this kitty here is not too happy about the new setting, and even less happy about the stupid thing that's currently producing strange sounds from its position on the floor.
that's his device right there, which he had been examining to try and figure out what its function was and had immediately dropped as soon as it started vibrating and ringing.
he had accidentally pushed the wrong button, and the obnoxious noise could probably be stopped by doing something as simple as pressing the same button again, but there's no way in hell rai would touch that thing any time soon.
he's just bristling for the time being, looking at the device suspiciously and feeling midly annoyed at having been caught off guard by such a weird looking object. ]

[tailcrook]

[What in the world should he say? He hasn't seen those white ears for an age, it seems, and Konoe's frozen in disbelief at the sight.

But he shakes himself out of it because this is a cat he's known, walked with, watched save him - and to leave Rai alone (and apparently frustrated) just doesn't sit well with him. He makes his way nearer, slowly, almost with caution. He can't know just which Rai he's dealing with here, can he? But he stops near enough, looking at the new device, too. It's not always a fun thing for a cat to use, he knows....

Really he just needs an excuse to duck his head.]

It... does that. Takes some getting used to. [But really, devices aren't what he wants to talk about, and he looks up again, searching.] But Rai....

[It's been a long time.]

peter bishop | friiinnggee

[flyingaces]

[ SOMEONE IS NOT PLEASED. his life is so stupid sometimes, but seriously, how is this any weirder than... absolutely anything else that's gone on recently. ]

This is such bullshit. [ no. really. ] On so many levels.

[wolfinthesnow]

[He hears that from a distance, and well, some things translate well. Jon slips his sword on turns to look at him]

How many levels?

steve rogers ( mcu )

[raincheck]

[ steve's been through a lot lately. he's already woken up in the future once, what's a second time? howard stark promised flying cars; steve ends up on a spaceship covered in goo and pushing down fear and worry because those have never helped anyone much. whatever this is, wherever (and whenever) he is — it won't be anything that he cannot manage. he has to tell himself that and he has to believe it. steve's a man of convictions, he doesn't back down quickly. not even if there is no discernible threat beyond the fact that he's woken up in a tube somewhere completely foreign to him.

this isn't new york. did one of the chitauri survive? no — stark had taken care of that. this can't be a chitauri ship. he finds the locker; one black suit later (he almost misses the familiarity of the red-and-blue) he steps out onto the corridor to search for some answers. ]

omg omg omgggggggggg

[widowing]

[ from the way rogers stumbles out of the pods and looks around, it's pretty easy to discern that he doesn't recall his previous time aboard. natasha allows herself a moment's irritation at the idea of having to explain the situation and that he's been here before all over again, but she's not exactly unpleased to see him. it's just one of the many inconveniences that comes with being aboard the tranquility. she doesn't quite rush to find him once she's cleaned off and dressed, but she does hope to get to him before stark does.

at some point, probably after he's had a chance to wander the halls a bit, he'll turn around to find her standing behind him, dressed in the jumpsuit with a gun holster strapped to her thigh. ]

Rogers.

R | Warm Bodies | shhhh let me have my fun

[literallylost]

[I know I'm kind of slow on the up-draw, but I'm not sure what's going on exactly. I mean, I have that kind of problem a lot--especially lately--but this is something I doubt even the living are well-prepped for. Last I checked, I was limping my way toward humanity (it's a bad idea, but I think I'm forgiven for being so brain-numb), and now... I'm naked--kinda pastier than I thought I was. But it's hard to sit in the sun when you have bloating issues. At least, I think we do. Would.

Shambling is the safest bet. No, walking. Walking is good. It only took me 50 years to put on a pair of pants, so I can't let that time be in vain by getting blasted; I must really be out of shape. When was the last time I dressed myself, anyway?

--my pants are on backwards. Man, how embarrassing. Like that makes me look any less inconspicuous. Hey, don't mind me, just a weird guy who listens to sad music under a willow tree. I just--like Halloween a lot. I have an image to uphold. They'll understand.

Don't stare. Don't slouch. Don't look weird. You're still slouching.

Please don't shoot me in the head. Please please please. Nodding. Say something normal to the passerbys. They're giving you Looks.]

Hhhhhhh...ello.... Nnice--shhirt

[Cool. Sounded better in my head, but not so bad.

Where am I? This was hard enough when I actually knew the place. You know what, I'm just gonna walk this direction. It leads somewhere eventually, right? You'd think I'd sit down, have an aside to myself where I ask how I got here. Why everything looks so wrong--

Great. Another hallway with a lot of doors.]

idek if i'm sorry or not

[exhumes]

[ This is right about the time that R should probably be thankful for small mercies. Like 'hey, someone who officially doesn't want to shoot me in the head just happened to show up at around the same time, go figure'. Which may or may not be a large mercy, but hey, who's keeping track?

Cue a certain Julie appearing beside him, linking her arm with his. To whoever it is he's talking to: ] Sorry, he's, uh, not from around here. Or something. [ The last bit's tacked on lamely as she's steering the zombie away and off... idek, somewhere. Somewhere where they can figure out what the hell even. Because let's face it, she's pretty sure neither of them are from anywhere even close to 'around here'. At least, that was officially the first goo-bath she's ever been involved in--the tube-in-throat thing was a nice touch, it really added to the whole 'wow this blows' theme they have going. ]

Scott McCall | Teen Wolf

[wolfteen]

[ Okay, where is he? And how did he get here, these are very prominent questions in Scott McCall's mind. Did someone kidnap him?! Was it Gerard? That's seriously his first assumption. Yep. Gerard had disappeared after the fight, after Jackson became Jackson again, and everything was on some level okay. Or as okay as it could be. Or pretty close to okay-

Whatever. The point is, his first assumption is that Gerard has somehow survived and brought him here, wherever here is, but there's no sign of him. Scott can't even pick up his scent. In fact, he's totally confused - there are so many unfamiliar scents here that it's hard to pick anything out. But there's familiarity too, somewhere underneath all the strangeness. He needs to try and sort that out, but for now he's wandering the halls of this weird, huge place and looking for answers. Or anyone he knows. Either of those things would be awesome.

Just like it'd be awesome if his cell phone would connect to Stiles', but try as he might, he can't seem to make that happen. It's pressed to his ear all the same, while he tries without success. ]

[refusing]

[She's passing by when she sees the boy attempting to use his phone. She was lucky enough to find hers stored away in her locker, but hasn't tried calling on it yet. But seeing the boy on his prompts hers to go ahead and pull her own out. She powers it up and scrolls through her contact list until Mum is pulled up. Giving a sigh, she closes her palm around the phone and puts a smile on her face.]

Yours not working either, then? I know a guy, he said he'd done some jiggery pokey to make mine work just 'bout anywhere, but figures we'd be out of range here.

[With her palm still wrapped tightly around her brick of a phone, she holds it up a bit, as if it'll bring some magic reception to the both of them. This lasts for about two seconds before she laughs at herself. Nope. Abort plan and just resort to casual conversation with a stranger instead. This is in no way awkward.]

Allison Argent | Teen Wolf

[braces]

[ It's slow, and almost peaceful, the way she surfaces from sleep. Darkness envelops and she feels almost weightless. For a moment, she thinks she might still be in a dream and doesn't register she's woken in a very strange situation.

That moment passes.

As soon as she's awake the tube down her throat comes out in a way that makes her gag. Gravity is restored as the fluid drains and suddenly she's stumbling out into a brightly lit room. Her hand goes up to shield her as she chokes from the feeling of the tube and realization she was in some sort of fluid. Nothing happened to her, but the feeling is disorienting still.

As is the situation. Where is she? What's happened to her? She looks around wildly, expecting to find an answer. Someone, something, anything watching her arrival. Nothing, though.

She doesn't even notice her appearance, it doesn't matter right now. What matters is where she's at and what's happening. ]

Hello! Does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?! [ She sounds scared, angry, panicked.

Probably because she is. ]

[wolfteen]

[ Scott has absolutely no idea what's going on. But he'd been looking for a familiar face, and here there absolutely is one.

There's no way he could ever ignore Allison's voice, no matter how things had been left between them. Especially when she sounds like that. ]

Allison?! Are you okay?

[ Obviously she's not come on McCall don't be dumb. ]

Where are you?

mairon/sauron | the shitstorm before lord of the rings

[lordof]

[..well he's never had meat and beans goop before. not quite the usual grand roast fare, but it'll do for someone who doesn't really need to eat.

because he arrived here without his ring and it's making him anxious. this is replacement comfort food.]

[inafadingcrown]

[And apparently, an elf can't even go to the kitchens to get something to eat without running into an old enemy.

Wow. That sure is Sauron sitting right there.

Don't mind if she just...stares for a second.]

Hermione Granger | Harry Potter and the do you even have to ask 8|

[justbooksmart]

[ She's just about scrubbed her arm raw trying to get rid of the tattoo - she's been branded before, she isn't about to let it happen again so willingly. Protests haven't done much though, it's still there, and Hermione is doing a fantastic job of staying Very Calm™. It's not every day you wake up in space though, so if there's a slight hint of concern in her voice, she can hardly be blamed. ]

Could someone please explain what on Earth is going on here?

[ She's waiting. ]

[theshabbiestofmen]

[Oh hey A FELLOW BRIT. Remus makes a beeline over to her.]

It's a bit of a long story. Are you all right? You might want to take a shower before you listen; that blue goo is rather awful to deal with.

[Hey this dork might look familiar--]

jax teller; sons of anarchy

[kutte]

[ it wasn't like jax didn't get the set up. he and opie, they'd watched their fair share of sci-fi bullshit movies back when they were kids. and it wasn't even like he hadn't woken up naked somewhere before, because that had absolutely happened.

however, it's the combination of weird space pods, nasty blue goo, and complete unfamiliarity of everyone in the immediate vicinity that throws him off. toto, we're not in kansas anymore, etc. ]

Motherfucker.

[ because seriously, what else is there to say? ]

[steeled]

What the fuck.

[ that could be said, too. ( more mouthed, but details. )

tara never liked those stupid movies but she's seen enough just by osmosis to feel her heart speed up past the blind, instinctive panic response because she's seen this episode of x-files on enough hospitals tvs to know she doesn't want to be in it. ]

--ax? [ it's almost a croak and she clears her throat, coughing hard. ] Jax?

Michael J. Caboose | Red vs. Blue

[idkmybffchurch]

[ Oh boy, Tranquility. I think your average IQ is about to go down. Way down. Because this man-boy on your network feeds? In your hallways? Oh boy. ]

HELLO? HELLO. CAN YOU HEAR ME? IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, THEN FOLLOW THE SOUND OF MY VOICE.

[ Except he's the one that needs help. Not the other way around. So how's that supposed to work? Caboose, focus. Start over. ]

I do not know any one of you. And you do not know any one of me— [ No. Wrong. ] Wait... There is just one of me... [ Fixed it. Moving on. ] —But I do not know where I am and it is dark and I would like some help please. I am also very cold...

[ Listen to that pathetic little voice. He's like a lost puppy. No. He's literally like a puppy lost in the hallways. Hurry before he starts knocking on random doors—

Unless that random door just happens to be yours? Please open up. ]

John A. Zoidberg | Futurama

[whynotzoidberg]

[Zoidberg isn't unfamiliar with spaceships by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, he immediately makes himself right at home, content with the state of affairs so far.

Because...]

Oh, what's this?

Free food?!

[So you'll find Zoidberg in a kitchen, shoving various foods into his claws, which then go right into his mouth as he grossly devours anything edible in sight. He sprays crumbs and goop from the food everywhere, making an incredible mess.]

This is beyond amazing I love you

[refusing]

[She supposes, standing in the middle of a ransacked kitchen, that her craving for chips was poorly timed. She's not even sure if they have chips in space, but even if they did, she thinks this alien has probably already eaten right through them.

She stands there and just watches for a few moments, her face a mixture of amusement and disgust.]

You're just gonna go through it all, then? Eat and eat and leave nothing for the rest of us?

[She's not trying to criticize, really. She tries to smile, but can't exactly wipe that look of 'what the hell is going on here' off her face. Awkwardly, she nudges some of the food mess away from her with the toe of her shoe.]

paul roberts | the fades

[comes]

Shit.

[ it's quiet and it's reasonably high pitched, because he's naked and he's in a room full of strangers. waking up disoriented isn't entirely new. but this is new, because a lifetime's worth of science fiction experience is telling him this is very clearly a spaceship, and he may be covered in nutrient gel that is in fact made up of other human beings.

people are moving and doing things, but paul is standing there with his hands over his crotch in a desperate bid to maintain some modesty, his expression a bizarre mix of panic and apathy. he's seen weird things, and he really shouldn't bother being surprised anymore, but-

there's a low thrum of energy through his arm, and it takes him a second to notice. when he does, he very quickly raises his right hand to look at the palm. it's glowing with a bright, shimmering gold light; not surprising, considering the panic. but did he just nearly blow his own dick off. nearly as importantly, is he about to go nuclear in a room full of naked strangers? ]

Shit.

Rose Tyler | Doctor Who

[refusing]

[Waking up in strange spaceships? Been there, done that. Never before with the pod and the goo and the communal showers, but she figures there's a first time for everything. She's found the standard issue jumpsuit to clash with her personality, but that's neither here or there since she's wearing it anyway. It'll do for now, she's got more important things to be doing.

She knows she should be looking for a blue box and its owner, but there's something slightly more pressing she feels the need to focus on.

Windows. She needs to find windows, some way she can see outside. In all her travels, she's always been able to see the sky and the stars and she doesn't want this one to be any different. So she's spending her time aimlessly wandering the halls, stopping to ask anyone nearby if they happen to know the location of any incredibly large windows. They're very important, you know.]

[idkmybffchurch]

[ See. It's understandable that maybe for a second or two, Rose's attention would be away from the halls behind her— Only looking forward for windows or other rooms to check inside of them. So maybe for that split second, she wouldn't have realized this guy coming up behind her. Derpy smile and confused mannerisms and all. Except he seems a little upset about something. ]

Hello, pretty lady? Are you looking for something? ...or someone? [ Oh my god. What if she's— ] Are you a super secret detective...?

[sweetbreads]

[ In the kitchen on level sixteen a lone figure sits at table. His blonde hair, greying universally, is flattened back away from his face, hairline receding, a pinched expression in his cold blue eyes, as though every moment is under his intense scrutiny. He wears a white sling across his shoulder, a pale grey suit, the top two buttons of his white shirt undone.

In front of him is a glass, a dinner set laid out in silver and crystal, a decanter in which blood red wine breathes, and a grey hat, wide-brimmed against the sun. The meal is served, some kind of meat in a thick teak sauce, the scent of it filling even this large room. It's art on a plate; gently poached baby vegetables sit whole beside the strips of flesh, drizzled too with the rich sauce.

With his right arm, Hannibal reaches for the glass, lifting it to his nose. The movement wastes nothing; he could be a statue, from each moment to the next. But when he lowers the glass his left arm moves for his fork before he catches himself, and in that moment something that might be anger but in reality is infinitely more complicated flickers across his expression.

Clarice.

But it's not Clarice disturbing his meal, is it? ]

Lucien Draay | Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic

[visionless]

[Lucien's not unfamiliar with space ships, he's not unfamiliar with space in general either. And he's not one to hide his own feelings about things and in fact is pretty much just stalking down the ship, occasionally reaching up to brush his hair back or wipe at his face.]

If this is some kind of trick, Zayne, it's not going to help you.

[carbonite]

(what is it with people like this, seriously? granted, he was one of them when he first came here but after two jumps, he likes to think that he's the expert.)

It isn't that simple, buddy.

Captain Jack Sparrow | Pirates of the Caribbean

[bottlearum]

[ Back here again? And here he thought he'd rid his hands of the Tranquility once and for all. ]

hey boo

[za_rodina]

[He's tired. Bone-weary and aching with sleep loss and jump sickness and the paranoia that seeps into his veins even with the loss of his mask. It effects him enough that while Russia would usually spend some time lingering around looking for familiar faces, this time he heads straight to the showers.

Except, half way there he spots a familiar figure out of the corner of his eye and thinks he's hallucinating again. His head whips around so fast he probably gives himself whiplash but no, he was right, there's a soggy, blue Captain over there and it's a solid punch to the gut to see him. Russia's striding over before he realizes and wraps Jack up in a back breaking hug, laughing against his shoulder.]

Jack! [Slightly bewildered, but mostly relieved, he pulls back with hands resting at shoulders and grins. Just ignore him, he's taking a moment to make sure you're all in one piece.] Couldn't stay away, hm?

kyra | the chronicles of riddick

[betterkiller]

[ it's felt like a reset: rewind, erase, remake. necromonger whispers melting away, conditioning barely remembered, pain disappearing beneath familiar habits and the absolution of her death. and she had died, she remembers that much. riddick's face above her, the warm wetness trailing down her spine as she'd bled out on the floor. (but she'd been with him in the end. she'd made up for that betrayal, hadn't she?)

this isn't the underverse. this is some enormous space freighter, maybe, someone's idea of a bizarre joke, and she has no fucking clue what part of the galaxy she's in.

the clothes had been the first thing to go. she's not a goddamn necromonger, and the fancy outer shit they'd given her had been chucked right into the trash. she'd kept the pants, though, kept the top. stolen out of death, she'd nevertheless been left a knife (bad move on their part), and a little makeshift work with some scrap metal and her boots meant a bad day for anyone who pissed her off.

she's been avoiding people. she doesn't know which of them she can trust, and until she does, she can't trust anyone. --still. she has to start somewhere, so she'd finally slid out of hiding like a shadow. she's in the bar now, perched in the farthest corner, nerves wound tight and pale eyes watching everything that moves. if someone so much as twitches wrong in her direction, they're probably getting a shiv in the base of their skull. maybe it's making the other patrons nervous, but she doesn't really seem to give a fuck, either. ]

Galadriel | The Lord of the Rings

[inafadingcrown]

[It wouldn't surprise anyone who knew her to find that Galadriel had found her way to the oxygen gardens. Her footsteps fall softly on the grass, her fingers brushing lightly against the taller plants as she walks.

The light that beams down on her isn't sunlight. There is no breeze blowing through her hair, but, for the moment, this will have to do.

She sighs and drops her hand back down to her side. She really doesn't have time for this.]

a protagonist | some movies about daddy issues

[xwing]

[ the last few years of his life have been eventful, true, but luke is still puzzling a bit over how he'd arrived on a strange ship when he's certain he'd been on endor just a few hours ago. it's not the remains of the empire, he's certain-- for one thing, he'd been left his clothing and lightsaber, which any imperial would have been (quite frankly) stupid to do.

more strangely, there are very familiar figures aboard. presences in the force that he'd thought.. gone. the thought makes his chest ache, tight and uncomfortable. it shouldn't be possible, but.. there are a lot of things about this situation that shouldn't be possible.

he's been making his way gradually toward them since showering and dressing, still-damp hair leaving the high collar of his shirt wet as he strides down the hallways. he adjusts the glove on his prosthetic hand as he turns a corner, pausing briefly to just breathe. he hasn't even had time to get a check-up. he knows there's probably some damage from palpatine's attack that needs to be repaired, but-- well. he doesn't have time for that right now, and he needs to find out more about this place and why he's even here. ]

HUFF HUFF HUFF

[enforced]

[He senses him before he sees him, and he sees him a few moments later, turning the corner, curious. Whoever it is, it's not someone he knows, but the Force is strong, and pushing him, nudging him. It's a curious thing, he thinks.

He sees the young man and his eyebrows furrow. It's definitely not a man he knows, not with the high collar and the clothes. But he carries himself with purpose, and...]

Hello.

[That's what he's getting right now. That and a polite Padawan bow]