ataraxioff | THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME STRIKES BACK

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THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME STRIKES BACK

TEST DRIVE MEME

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But surely there's another planet with food about five minutes away maybe?

[Zoidberg may be used to space travel, but he's used to travel that involves making frequent stops. So he simply shrugs. Running out of food doesn't occur to him at the moment because there is so much of it.

But his ears perk up (metaphorically) at the word "chips."]

Chips you say? Lady, if I've seen any chips, I've already eaten them.

[Right. Of course he has. She frowns and sighs, and flicks an empty bag of something onto the floor in her annoyance.]

How're you even able to eat that much?

[She wants to ask where it all goes, but figures that might be rude for a first conversation.]

I mean, you're obviously able to. But you're not sick or anything? Not gonna... [She trails off there, using her hands to make a motion that starts near her face and clearly is supposed to represent someone throwing up.]

Feh! [He puts out a claw in an "eh" motion, in sort of a shrug.] I got two stomachs. Maybe more.

[Oh but maybe he will get sick. In fact, he ate up pretty much everything in the kitchen in a rapid fashion... suddenly he puts his claws over his mouth and his eyes widen slightly in nausea.]

'Scuse me for a moment! [And he runs into the other room where sounds of retching are heard.]

[She lets him rush past her, her nose wrinkling up as she tries to hum to herself and not listen to an alien throwing up massive quantities of food. Whenever he gets back, she's found herself a nice bag of crisps and is perched up on one of the countertops, happily devouring them.]

I'm makin' tea, if you're up for it. Might help you feel better.

[Hopefully. She doesn't think she can handle hearing more retching sounds today.]

[Zoidberg shuffles back in the room, looking much less sick and much more content.

He is actually mildly surprised that this woman is offering him tea.]

Tea? For Zoidberg? Oh, what joy! I'm wanted!

[He actually looks happy now, mouth formed in the closest thing to a smile his face can approximate.]

'Course there's tea for you.

[Chuckling at his reaction, she sets the crisps aside and moves to hop off the countertop.]

Anyway, not sure if I said this already or not, but I'm Rose. And as long as I'm here, there'll always be tea for Zoidberg. Promise.

[She knows that there's a lot of humans here, from what she's seen. And she knows very well what it's like to look different and act different than the general majority, and to feel alone. She doesn't want that for this guy. He seems nice enough they could be friends of some kind.]

So, where're you from exactly?

[This lady is being so nice to him. Zoidberg can barely process it. He looks completely flabbergasted at her words, wide-eyed and silent for a few moments.]

Always be tea...? For Zoidberg...?

[He wants to shriek with excitement. Free food! Always tea for him! How can he handle this? But he attempts to remain calm for the moment, though he almost snaps the handle of the mug of tea in half when he grabs it.]

I'm barely here a day and I'm already popular! Hooray!

[He takes a seat.] Oh, you know, I'm from a very interesting place on Earth. Not living in a dumpster or anything!

[She just arches her eyebrows and laughs at him, because what even. Of course she doesn't mind always sharing her tea with him.]

It's just tea.

[She points this out with more amusement than anything else, and she takes a moment to take a sip of her tea. She watches him closely, trying to figure out what the most interesting place on Earth could be.]

So not Cardiff, then.

[She laughs at her own joke, figuring he probably won't get it. But maybe she's gotten too used to aliens or something, because she realizes then that for him to be from Earth must be hard for him, if there's tons of humans around.]

Okay then...when are you from? [She leans forward to listen, putting on her best curious and intently listening face.]

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