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THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME STRIKES BACK

TEST DRIVE MEME

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[ He's either randomly wandering the halls or-- Doing something else. FIGURE SOME META, I'M NEW FISH, WHAT IS GOING ONNNN. ]

(Isn't he lucky that the bestest friend in the entire galaxy is also in the halls.)

... Lando? (WELL ISN'T THIS GREAT.)

[ Don't mind her -- or actually mind her taking a look at some random ass painting left there by Smiley. Her arms are folded across her chest, one eyebrow raised.

It's just a goddamn smiley but man. ] Vacations weren't supposed to include this kind of crap.

[ Nor were they supposed to include all the odd assortment of people she had run into earlier on, none of which really made any sense, but she'd put two and two together as time went by. ]

[ Way luckier than he is at cards, that's for sure. ]

Han! Buddy--

[ Please don't be pissed about the whole tipping Vader off. And the torture. And the carbonite. And taking apart your droid. ]

[The 1990s had not equipped her to deal with this whole picture phone thing, making the angle not exactly right. But she has bigger problems. In her hand is what used to be a cigarette but is now little more than a drenched blob of what happens when paper meets tube glue. The barely-a-teen offers a scowl to the camera.]

This is such shit. The future's suppose to be better, right? That's what all those assholes on TV said. You don't even have a 7/11. Who sells the cigarettes?

[ ok there may or might not have been uncomfortably loud yelling and a big fat what the hell just happened?! when she slipped out of the tube. thankfully that got someone's attention, got here a little help to the showers where she could calm down and clean herself off. number tattoo on her arm and ok this is all scary and weird and what the hell is going on. she breathes. she can handle this.

but dripping wet and wrapped in a towel, the outfit she finds in the locker all hung up and complete with blonde wig is the last thing she wants to see. ]

Nope! I am not wearing this and this is not happening right now!

[ at least there's a bottle of scotch to go with it. and her gun. it feels like she's going to need both of those things sooner rather than later. ]

[Before the images focuses, there's a bit of muttered swearing in the background in a heavy West African francophone accent. As Njoki gets the camera better set up, the video feed shows a rather butch young woman. Behold, one werehyena for all your necromantic needs.]

Well, shit. How many Kansas jokes do you usually get around here?

[He had not expected to wake up here. His last memory before this moment is of hooks, tearing into his skin and breaking apart his armor. He was bound for the bowels of the Undercity. For torture. For re-education.

He supposes those things still aren't out of the question. But this ship is most assuredly not the Undercity.

Koltira stalks the halls, his sword brandished, his posture defensive. He expects a hostile engagement. Part of him thinks this is a carefully crafted apothecary's illusion, some piece in a plan to drive him mad. The ship is beyond the imagination of his tormentors, though. It's real, vast, and inexplicable.

Probably.]

If this is an illusion, I won't succumb to it.

[ this kitty here is not too happy about the new setting, and even less happy about the stupid thing that's currently producing strange sounds from its position on the floor.
that's his device right there, which he had been examining to try and figure out what its function was and had immediately dropped as soon as it started vibrating and ringing.
he had accidentally pushed the wrong button, and the obnoxious noise could probably be stopped by doing something as simple as pressing the same button again, but there's no way in hell rai would touch that thing any time soon.
he's just bristling for the time being, looking at the device suspiciously and feeling midly annoyed at having been caught off guard by such a weird looking object. ]

Edited 2013-04-28 21:31 (UTC)

[ SOMEONE IS NOT PLEASED. his life is so stupid sometimes, but seriously, how is this any weirder than... absolutely anything else that's gone on recently. ]

This is such bullshit. [ no. really. ] On so many levels.

[ steve's been through a lot lately. he's already woken up in the future once, what's a second time? howard stark promised flying cars; steve ends up on a spaceship covered in goo and pushing down fear and worry because those have never helped anyone much. whatever this is, wherever (and whenever) he is — it won't be anything that he cannot manage. he has to tell himself that and he has to believe it. steve's a man of convictions, he doesn't back down quickly. not even if there is no discernible threat beyond the fact that he's woken up in a tube somewhere completely foreign to him.

this isn't new york. did one of the chitauri survive? no — stark had taken care of that. this can't be a chitauri ship. he finds the locker; one black suit later (he almost misses the familiarity of the red-and-blue) he steps out onto the corridor to search for some answers. ]

[He hears that from a distance, and well, some things translate well. Jon slips his sword on turns to look at him]

How many levels?

[I know I'm kind of slow on the up-draw, but I'm not sure what's going on exactly. I mean, I have that kind of problem a lot--especially lately--but this is something I doubt even the living are well-prepped for. Last I checked, I was limping my way toward humanity (it's a bad idea, but I think I'm forgiven for being so brain-numb), and now... I'm naked--kinda pastier than I thought I was. But it's hard to sit in the sun when you have bloating issues. At least, I think we do. Would.

Shambling is the safest bet. No, walking. Walking is good. It only took me 50 years to put on a pair of pants, so I can't let that time be in vain by getting blasted; I must really be out of shape. When was the last time I dressed myself, anyway?

--my pants are on backwards. Man, how embarrassing. Like that makes me look any less inconspicuous. Hey, don't mind me, just a weird guy who listens to sad music under a willow tree. I just--like Halloween a lot. I have an image to uphold. They'll understand.

Don't stare. Don't slouch. Don't look weird. You're still slouching.

Please don't shoot me in the head. Please please please. Nodding. Say something normal to the passerbys. They're giving you Looks.]

Hhhhhhh...ello.... Nnice--shhirt

[Cool. Sounded better in my head, but not so bad.

Where am I? This was hard enough when I actually knew the place. You know what, I'm just gonna walk this direction. It leads somewhere eventually, right? You'd think I'd sit down, have an aside to myself where I ask how I got here. Why everything looks so wrong--

Great. Another hallway with a lot of doors.]

Edited 2013-04-28 22:06 (UTC)

[ Okay, where is he? And how did he get here, these are very prominent questions in Scott McCall's mind. Did someone kidnap him?! Was it Gerard? That's seriously his first assumption. Yep. Gerard had disappeared after the fight, after Jackson became Jackson again, and everything was on some level okay. Or as okay as it could be. Or pretty close to okay-

Whatever. The point is, his first assumption is that Gerard has somehow survived and brought him here, wherever here is, but there's no sign of him. Scott can't even pick up his scent. In fact, he's totally confused - there are so many unfamiliar scents here that it's hard to pick anything out. But there's familiarity too, somewhere underneath all the strangeness. He needs to try and sort that out, but for now he's wandering the halls of this weird, huge place and looking for answers. Or anyone he knows. Either of those things would be awesome.

Just like it'd be awesome if his cell phone would connect to Stiles', but try as he might, he can't seem to make that happen. It's pressed to his ear all the same, while he tries without success. ]

[ While Peter can probably do math in his sleep, now is not the time for questions that require concrete answers. Or something. Just.. gdi, he rubs his eyes and grumbles because what kind of a question is that. ]

Monumentally exponential levels. Can I give you an exact number later?

(aren't you lucky, he isn't even there yet.) I thought you were busy running your own city. What brings you here to the huddled masses?

[What in the world should he say? He hasn't seen those white ears for an age, it seems, and Konoe's frozen in disbelief at the sight.

But he shakes himself out of it because this is a cat he's known, walked with, watched save him - and to leave Rai alone (and apparently frustrated) just doesn't sit well with him. He makes his way nearer, slowly, almost with caution. He can't know just which Rai he's dealing with here, can he? But he stops near enough, looking at the new device, too. It's not always a fun thing for a cat to use, he knows....

Really he just needs an excuse to duck his head.]

It... does that. Takes some getting used to. [But really, devices aren't what he wants to talk about, and he looks up again, searching.] But Rai....

[It's been a long time.]

[Even odder, Ghost comes up from behind Jon, from around the corner.]

I don't understand what levels have to do with bullshit.

[ It's slow, and almost peaceful, the way she surfaces from sleep. Darkness envelops and she feels almost weightless. For a moment, she thinks she might still be in a dream and doesn't register she's woken in a very strange situation.

That moment passes.

As soon as she's awake the tube down her throat comes out in a way that makes her gag. Gravity is restored as the fluid drains and suddenly she's stumbling out into a brightly lit room. Her hand goes up to shield her as she chokes from the feeling of the tube and realization she was in some sort of fluid. Nothing happened to her, but the feeling is disorienting still.

As is the situation. Where is she? What's happened to her? She looks around wildly, expecting to find an answer. Someone, something, anything watching her arrival. Nothing, though.

She doesn't even notice her appearance, it doesn't matter right now. What matters is where she's at and what's happening. ]

Hello! Does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?! [ She sounds scared, angry, panicked.

Probably because she is. ]

[..well he's never had meat and beans goop before. not quite the usual grand roast fare, but it'll do for someone who doesn't really need to eat.

because he arrived here without his ring and it's making him anxious. this is replacement comfort food.]

Edited 2013-04-28 22:43 (UTC)

[ Thank space zombie jesus midichlorians. ] Was going to ask somebody that myself. Isn't like I planned this impromptu little vacation.

Have you tried the showers, son? Excellent water pressure. A shame about the soap, though. I think I lost it. Somewhere.

[And there's Watler with a hand towel, rubbing at his hair like all he needs is a robe and a rubber ducky. He's got that incredibly fascinated, calculating the universe of possibilities, look he gets. Also? Not a stitch on. Too busy thinking to grab that larger towel. Just what you needed, right?]

No cigarettes. Sorry. We have little devices that enable us to communicate with one another instantly across a vast distance, though, so I believe it's rather an equal trade.

[ His day? Has just gotten infinitely better. Which implies that no, it hasn't, not really, because when did the only normality in his life become Walter's inability to keep his clothing on. At least this means he can deal with this instead of dealing with space for the time being, but it still means he has to deal with all of it. Eventually. ]

The soap isn't the only thing you lost, Walter. Think we need to find you some pants.

[ This is just... lovely. ]

Bullshit, or bull shit. Because I was talking about metaphysical levels. Of which real shit has little to do with any of them.

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