THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME RIDES AGAIN.

[eppy]

TEST DRIVE MEME

 

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Lenie Clarke | Starfish

[rifter]

The figure is clearly humanoid, but beyond that, nearly all identifying marks have been covered over and erased by some sort of slick, black skin. (Perhaps it's natural? But is anything in nature that sleek?) While there's an odd lump at the base of the throat, there's not even a slit where a person's mouth should be.

When it turns to look around, it's eyes appear to be white and featureless. It moves to stand in front of a mirror before running the edge of its thumb over something on its chest and peels back the black skin to reveal a mass of unnaturally pale skin and scar-tissue surrounding a piece of embedded machinery where a lung might once have been. It adjusts something inside before sealing the skinsuit back up.

It pauses for a moment, head cocked to one side, before a garbled, barking sound comes out of the vocoder embedded in its throat.

It's laughing.

Clove | The Hunger Games

[puncturing]

[ She doesn't trust any of this ship. She's not entirely sure this isn't another, twisted section of the Games, warfare on her mind and her body both.

It's safe to say wherever she is her knives are on her, probably in hand. ]

Megamind | Megamind

[designatedvillain]

[Megamind's been around since the Jump, of course, and he's met a few people-- it's hard to keep a low profile when you're large and blue-- but he hasn't addressed the network until now. He's had to have time to prepare things.]

Now! Some of you may recognize me-- [He gives a little smirk, obviously pleased with himself] --either from the Jump or, more likely, from my earlier criminal days when I ruled Metrocity. But I'm here to inform you all that I've become good now! Good! I'm the good guy; I'm here to-- you know-- enforce justice and keep peace and all that sort of thing. So, ah, evildoers beware!

[--right, definitely have to work on some of that witty dialogue. Megamind grimaces for a few seconds. It's so difficult being the good guy; it's certainly not as easy to come up with interesting things to say.]

Right. To that end, I've introduced a new version of my brainbots! Say hello, sweeties--

[A little robot floats on-screen, whirring softly. It looks dangerous, certainly: all metallic teeth and red eyes, crammed full of gadgets and dripping tentacles-- but it hovers against Megamind, pushing fondly against him like a puppy might.]

They'll help you with any medical issue you might have. Assuming you haven't, you know, been eaten or something.

So! What other heroes are there on here? Where are the villains? I can't imagine there's any shortage in a spaceship like this.

video and also excuse u

[tragedian]

[ What's wrong with your head. It takes some visible effort to not comment on that, but Gaius manages it - besides, he's got a bigger problem with this ridiculous display. ]

Heroes and villains? While I'm sure there's something to be said for your childlike enthusiasm, I feel it's my duty to inform you that the real world doesn't operate on such a simplistic moral scale.

Annie Sawyer | Being Human (UK)

[invisibilitea]

[Oh this is odd.

This is odd and people are - where are her clothes -

All right, first matter of business; she gets cleaned up and dressed and now she's wide-eyed and where are Mitchell and George and Nina? Where is her house? Is she still invisible?

She at least has a box of tea. Well. That's good.]

Oh, um-excuse me?

HELLO hi let me know if you want actual canon-mate hal instead!!

[growling]

[ The jumps are routine at this point, which is depressing in and of itself, but it also means it's easy for Josh to let his attention wander while he goes through the motions.

He's slipping on his necklace when he notices the girl with the tea. For a bizarre second he sees someone else entirely, because the gray sweater is slightly uncanny - but it's not her, and his heart resumes its normal pace. Either way, it means he's paying attention when she speaks, and it'd be a dick move to just ignore the newbies when you're standing right there.

He's still messing in his locker a bit, but he pauses to look over and offer her a sympathetic smile. ]

You want the family friendly version or the useful one? Nice sweater, by the way.

hansel | hansel and gretel: witch hunters

[eradicant]

[well, to be honest, waking up naked in a vat of goo isn't the strangest place he's ever woken up in. nor is the metal ceiling and floors too weird.

no, what stands out as the strangest and most concerning part of this whole experience for him is the distinct lack of a certain sister who's meant to be right there next to him. so now, people of the not-so-good ship tranquility, you have a pissed off witch hunter storming his way around the room.

good luck?]

hahaha i didn't even plan to be right underneath you.

[jagerin]

[ speak of the sister and she appears! gretel is still kind of trying to string her brain back together after waking up and cleaning off. everything around her is bright and loud and giving her a massive fucking headache, but she's coherent enough to recognize her brother and the way he moves on sight, and she runs over to him the second she spots him. ]

Hansel. [ she's extremely relieved, and her hands grasp at his forearms as if she's trying to make sure he's not an illusion. ] Are you all right?

gretel | hansel & ____: witch hunters

[jagerin]

[ some time between turning their backs on the pyre at augsburg and busting the door down on the witch in the desert, gretel finds herself separated from her brother and their newly acquired companions and in some sort of glass cage, choking on blue slime. the cage opens and spills her out and she lands on her hands and knees, landing a bit too hard on her right wrist, but hopefully avoiding a break or a sprain. after a minute to regain enough of her bearings to will her limbs not to shake, she pushes herself to her knees and looks around, wiping the slime out of her eyes so she can see whatever's happening better.

no one seems to be all that better off than she is, but she does notice that there are several around who have been through this ordeal before. after a few minutes of waiting for the unease and nausea to ebb away a bit, she rises unsteadily and starts heading towards where everyone else is headed. the room is harsh and bright and loud, totally foreign to someone who was previously in eighteenth century germany, but she manages to find one towel to clean herself off with and another to cover herself before she starts investigating the place. ]

Rain Ocampo | Resident Evil

[gettinglaid]

[ Sometime between getting getting stuck underground with those things, she'd dozed off. Waking up covered in goo, sans weapons and cheerfully informed she was on a spaceship?

She was not jiving with this change. Getting her uniform and weapons back didn't really make her any calmer, but the security eyed her like if she made one wrong move they'd take them away in a flash, so she wasn't making that wrong move.

Not yet.

If someone didn't explain what the hell the Tranquility was doing stealing mercs out of underground facilities, though, she might be inclined to. ]

i'm sorry i just needed to :'|

[bigbaddaboom]

[ She, or some very patient and helpful person, has gotten her dressed, and Leeloo's set about to wandering the ship, poking her head in here and there and occasionally crawling into vents and ignoring 'do not enter' signs. The occasional interesting looking person has been stopped for Leeloo to chatter with, but mostly she's been minding herself.

When she eventually spots the angry looking girl packing heat, there's a lingering look to the weapon. Things created by human, only used to destroy. Yet Korben had used them - to protect, to save life. It's difficult to tell from outward appearance alone which the armed woman intends for it, and it has her staring for a moment. Her curiosity gets the better of her, and highlighter orange haired woman, that's otherwise identical to Alice, finds herself wandering over, head tilting to the side as she gets probably a little more into her personal space than is called for. ]

Lost?

arthur dent | the hitch-hiker's guide to the galaxy

[dressinggown]

[ well, that's it. that's all she wrote. he's gone and exploded, and there won't be anything left of earth in the whole universe. it's tragic, really. he wishes he'd had more time with his daughter, even of she was a little bit, well, terrible. maybe a chance to say goodbye to ford, or trillian, or even (though he wouldn't have appreciated it) marvin. but no, it's all too late. it had been a good life, odd but good, and now it's done. ]

[ it's funny, he always thought death would be a lot quieter. ]

[ and a lot less nauseating. ]

[ and less... blue. ]

[ on the floor of the tranquility medbay, arthur dent opens his eyes. well, there's no doubt about it. it must have been a thursday. ]

[ with the weariness and resignation of a man who has long since grown used to waking up unexpectedly aboard impossible spaceships, arthur gets to his feet. looks down at himself. looks around. ]

Sorry, does anybody happen to have a towel?

let's hitchhike the galaxy 2gother bro

[spaceleather]

[ john's seen his fair share of bullshit, and the truth of that matter is that waking up in space goo in a room that supplies showers and towels is actually pretty damn classy by comparison.

he's also found that most times (well, sometimes), it's better to blend in when you're naked and unarmed, so he doesn't raise a fuss. he's dressed and on his way out when he notices the very naked and apparently very english man, and he stops in the process of towel drying his hair to toss the damp cloth at arthur's face. ]

There's more in the showers. [ there's a pause while he does up some of the straps on his vest (which there are quite a few of, thank you), and he takes in the rest of the room before turning his attention back to arthur. ]

Let me guess. Not your exit, either?

dr. zoe hart - hart of dixie

[towniebyblood]

Has anyone seen Wade Kinsella around? Because I have a feeling he's behind this. And if he is, I'm going to beat him with his own stupid cowboy boots.

[she glances around, the scowl on her face an attempt at trying not to look totally freaked out but she's not exactly happy about being here.]

I know I'm not in Alabama anymore and this isn't like any hospital I've ever worked in or visited.

JUICE | sons of anarchy

[juicey]

[Juice has woken up in a lot of strange states before; hungover, bleary, ripped staples out of his chest or worked on wiping pen off his face. This, though? Naked, covered in blue slime and surrounded by the cross between a sci-fi convention and a high-school locker room - this was a whole new level of fucked up.]

shoves into this thread.

[kutte]

[ fucked up seems to be the consensus. the place is like nothing jax has ever dealt with, but on some level he can't help but respond to it the same way he'd respond to prison. look around, find someone, anyone familiar and stick to them. this is a sea of unfamiliar faces, but juice and his hair, those tattoos, that's enough. jax pushes his way right through the crowd because fuck all of them, sons should stand with sons, even if they're naked and covered in blue shit and possibly lost. ]

You got any idea where we are?

[ it's not the kind of question that jax really expects an answer to. it just needs to be said, so he's saying it, and then they can move on to the next part of the conversation, namely the part where they agree that this is fucked up. ]

morticia addams | the addams family

[morsmortis]

[ oh dear. the dreary expanse of gray walls, the sterile lighting, the disorientation and suffocating nausea-

what a sense of... foreboding

morticia steps out of the chamber and into the encroaching darkness that looms from the lift. she lifts one arm, a single, delicate finger pressed to her painted mouth. ]

How charming.

oh my god oh my GOD

[designatedvillain]

[Oh, now here's a lady that looks like she has style. Megamind raises an eyebrow and comes over, standing next to her.]

I think they could have done a bit more work on the whole atmosphere of it-- and these jumpsuits, really-- but it's not a bad effort! As an ex-villain, I'm very nearly impressed!

Arya Stark | A Song of Ice and Fire

[wolfchild]

[ Three things. She had to return each new moon with three new things she had learned.

She had learned thirty new things, but they had all been pushed aside. She was still learning new things and these would please the kindly man more she knew.

The first she knew already what it would be. A man died today. Dareon of the Night’s Watch. Dareon the deserter. His throat was slit and his boots taken off him. Too small and too large for others. A waste of good boots.

The second was pacing before her, eyes burning a dull gold in her impotent fury.

My wolf has come back.

Her wolf. Hers. She was not meant to own anything. She had given up everything. (You lie. A sad little lie. A lie that sits in her hand.) She should be a master of her own face, but Arya cannot help her smile whenever she looks upon Nymeria--a smile that fades whenever she looks away. She keeps a hand on the direwolf as the other moves, not yet convinced it is not a dream she will soon wake from.

It might have been a good dream if not for the third.

I do not know where I am.

All she knew was that she knew nothing. Of where she was, of how she came to be here. Would the kindly man accept it?

Arya bit her lip. ]

Yes come here little sister

[wolfinthesnow]

[It's Ghost that finds her first, finds her and Nymeria, and pounces on his sister just as Jon comes around the corner and sees her.

He knows her.

Of course he knows her.

She was here before, his sister, his little wolf, the girl who he missed more than anyone. The girl whose disguise he's seen before.]

Arya.

[He hopes, he hopes she does not claim she is not that girl, he hopes because he is not sure he has the energy to coax her back once more.]

tara knowles | hamlet + motorcycles

[steeled]

[ the floor is hard beneath her bare knees, cold, and tara wretches violently, losing her balance and crashing forward onto her hands as it feels like her body's trying to throw up without having anything but bile to get rid of. she drops down onto her side after, hands held close to her lower belly as she struggles back up to her knees, pushing wet, stuck together clumps of hair out of her face. ]

--ax?

[ she coughs, harsh and painful. ] Jax?

[yougetalifetime]

Not Jax, sorry. But I can help you up all the same.

[and so the friendly goth girl (who is oddly undisturbed, for being in much the same predicament) holds out a hand]

kate austen | lost

[flitted]

[ there's an annoying moment when the pod first spits kate out that she in quick succession, tries to get up, fails, pukes and for about five minutes just lays there on the floor before she gets up in search of a shower, moving like someone who really has some place to go.

( that's not accurate, not really, because she doesn't know what this place is and it's like the island only worse because she can't remember how she got here. )

don't mind how you're getting her probably running into you with a quick mumbled apology when really all the woman wants to do is get to that goddamn shower and then actually find her clothes and figure what the hell is going on. ]

lt. col. john sheppard | stargate atlantis

[ancienty]

[ the safest assumption when you wake up in a test tube surrounded by strangers is that the aliens did it, but seeing as everyone here looks mostly human (as if that means anything) and nobody here is trying to kill him, john decides the subtle approach is best.

that doesn't mean his expression isn't growing increasingly disturbed and suspicious by the second, because first there's showers and then there's lockers, and if this is an abduction it's not a very scary one. there's also the gun in his locker, which is weird but good, but-

no, it's mostly just really freaking weird. he manages to finish dressing before he stops to stare in disbelief at his gun for a few seconds, and then he finally gives up and directs a reasonably loud critique to nobody in particular. ]

You know it's usually a really dumb idea to give the abductees weapons. They might have half a mind to shoot you with them.

[ ... and actually, while he's reviewing the performance. ]

And the showers could use some more soap.

HUHUHUHU

[goldshirt]

[Jim would be more put off by this kind of talk if there wasn't at least one person every jump who said something like this. Jim shoots him a sidelong, bemused look and straightens the green Starfleet regulation shirt on.]

I'd save my bullets if I were you. You might need them later.

Princess Azula || Avatar: The Last Airbender

[born_lucky]

[It didn't matter where she was or if this was some strange delusion that her mind had constructed, Azula was not concerned for the moment. She was mostly ecstatic over her new found freedom to walk around unbound. Sure, the mechanics behind how all of this was possible was mildly intriguing but Azula was far more interested in firebending.

She found her way to the oxygen gardens. There was enough open space there to allow for some practice. And plenty of things to burn.

With a deep breath, she readied her stance and threw a punch, bright blue fire emanating from her fist. She smirked. Yes, she could definitely get used to this.

Even with the voices in her head pleading with her not to cause too much damage.]

Sikozu | Farscape

[notquitekalish]

[Frell. She never expected to be back on this ship, but here she was covered familiar blue slime and surrounded by people who, surprisingly, have yet to crash this vessel into a planet.

Showered and dressed, Sikozu was happy to find her personal effects in her locker. She was less happy to once again be branded like some Earth cow]

EY

[spaceleather]

[ it's kind of hard to miss that mess of red on red (seriously, space fashion was awfully one-dimensional sometimes), but john hesitates before calling out.

she's not the last person he'd have wanted to run into, he'll give her that. definitely not the first, either. but better the ones you know, right? ]

Sputnik. Fancy meeting you here.

[ maybe only vaguely suspicious. in a friendly way. ]

malcolm reynolds - firefly

[tetchy]

[ the thing about snatching-ups (and mal's experienced a one or two, maybe a few more but beyond zoe and his whole damn disrespectful crew, who's counting?) is each one's different. some're fancy-- they stick you in a real cell, maybe add a laser grid to make a body cautious about escape.

some're messy and fast, elbow to the head and you wake up tied to a chair and with a powerful need to throw up.

this one's a mix of both, but he's not bothering with the little things. no, he's dealing with the real injustices: namely, the last item he pulls from the locker that's his, judging by the little numbers and his things inside, the like. ]

Oh... Ni ta ma de. Tianxia suoyoude ren. Dou gaisi. This is-- wang ba dan--

[ he'll just be shaking the keychain accusingly at any and all passersby. ]

This is not my gorram ship!

[yougetalifetime]

Oh, wow. [you'll have to forgive her if she laughs] No, I think it's a bit small for you. Points for creative language, though.

merry| tiny people with jewelry fucking things up

[tinyhelmet]

[ if this isn't the oddest place he's ever seen, why, then his name isn't meriadoc brandybuck. of course, his name is meriadoc brandybuck, but this place is- well.

o'course it isn't anything like the mines of moria, and it isn't rivendell- but that's not so much strange as it is beautiful-

but at least there's a kitchen. loads of kitchens if he hears right. he's just got to figure out which one of these little buttons in the lift take him to one.






meh.
probably best to just hit 'em all. ]

+big person with jewelry fucking things up. I"M A BIT SORRY except not really

[lordof]

[it's weird. it's weird and grand and cold and gooey, and he only took his eyes off the buttons for a moment to examine the walls of this... thing. this lift. because it seems to be made of metal and something else, like the rest of this vessel. very strange, very fascinating, and--

and now the entire thing is moving and mairon very nearly curses aloud (mutters, more like), turning around to see what the hell is happening. and consequently sending the child(?) an accusing look.

do you mind he's trying to admire the workmanship here.]

the narrator | fight club

[duplex]

[ jack is no stranger to throwing up, typically there's more blood when there's something coming out of his mouth, but that's the funny detail isn't it? the one no one talks about because that's the first rule. you don't talk about the club. except you do because how else do people know and that's the weird thing about everything.

but no, the throwing up and the fact that he feels like he's gone ten rounds with someone isn't what makes him question what's going on. this is normal. this is what happens when you fight and you don't win. you have this happen. but no, what makes him question all of this ( somewhere tyler's judging him telling him to question everything you fuck ) is the fact that it looks like a goddamn futuristic sci-fi bullshit set which isn't where he was originally.

of course the eloquent way of phrasing what's going on that comes from his lips while he's getting up shakily? well— ]

The fuck is this?

[yougetalifetime]

Jack's creepy spaceship.

[she's seen this movie, sorry about that fourth wall]

James Potter | And His Magical Son a.k.a. Harry Potter (Marauder Era)

[heorot]

[ Someone's not at Hogwarts anymore, and is a little...confused. By it. Because last he checked he was at least in England, and this? This is absolutely nothing like England. Or Europe. Or anywhere he's ever been, if he's being honest.

And like all good school-boys do when they are lost and confused, James is going to ruffle his hair (a nervous tick okay), resettle his feet, and just. Head on out into the rest of the ship. Curiosity killed the cat, right? Well. Good thing he's a stag. He'd like to see curiosity kill him.

Actually no he wouldn't, but the least he could do is find his mates. ]

well hey there again stranger

[doggedly]

[James should really know better. There are people who have to do mundane things like find their mates, but that's only because those people aren't mates with Sirius Black. When you're mates with Sirius Black, you simply stand still and wait for him to find you--because he will, ever time. It's like a sixth sense.

Actually, James' sixth sense ought to be acting up as well, right now, because with a shout Sirius descends upon him, throwing his arms around him from behind and grabbing him in a huge happy embrace, crushing James to him. Since he found out about James and the whole shit mess that is the future, he's worried about James coming here, and he's worried about what he'd say when he saw him--but now that he's actually here, there's just this overwhelming happiness because JAMES, it's James, there's no one better than James.

And sorry if this is scary or unsettling or unexpected but you better deal with it Jamie darling--]

James!

Lucy Pevensie | Chronicles of Narnia

[valianced]

[ Now, Lucy is used to turning up in strange places, but this one seems to be the strangest of all. The metal walls and the weird technology -- she's not quite used to it, really, and simply stares, looking around in wide eyed wonder. It didn't look like Narnia, and it definitely didn't look like home. ]

Hello?

[ She needed to find her siblings first and foremost. No doubt they would be worried that she turned up missing, if that's what she's done at all. ]

Oh dear.

shhh let me love you

[gentles]

[Was this her eyes playing tricks on her, or did Susan just spot her younger sister?]

Lucy...?

[Her eyes widen, and she hurries towards her, shuffling past her fellow passengers with quick apologies.]

Lucy!

Eleni - OC

[outdoorsy]

[She normally wakes up in a tent, alone - and that's how she likes it. This time she wakes up in a crowd, naked and covered in goo. Eleni doesn't wait for anyone to approach her. She finds the showers on her own, washes off on her own, ignoring the people around her. When she's done, she wraps herself in the towel, even if modesty isn't foremost in her mind.

She marches up to the first person she sees, chin up and shoulders squared, her voice low in that way that suggests anger behind it.]

Who do I talk to about turning this thing around?

[incendo]

[ naked in goo is more their brother's style of waking, he thinks, though he's not sure even dion would be pleased with these circumstances. alex sure as fuck isn't. goo in places goo should not be, but cleaning up simple enough. stopping eleni from strangling her way out of a bloody spaceship is possibly not quite so easy. ]

Threatening the masses already, are we? And not even subtly, at that.

[ he is dressed, at least, if not far more casually than usual. still not back to scarcely veiled nudity, though. honestly, el. ]

Lestat de Lioncourt | Where everyone is an undead little shit

[tueurdeloup]

[This is beyond ridiculous.

Lestat never thought he would think this, but he is quite done with adventures; to gain his own frame back mere months ago, only to be placed in some pathetic film student's version of a space ship is simply too much.

Having scrubbed himself clean in the shower with some vigor, he quickly dresses and starts to explore, following the minds around him, like a dog sniffing out a scent. It seems strange, that through the distress of those new like him...those who have been here for some time seem not to belong there, either.

And no mind spoke to him of being fully in charge.

Troublesome.

Every move he makes is caculated; many of the creatures here are more than human, despite their looks. Unitl he sorts out what manner of place this is, he moves carefully, forcing himself to stay painfully slow, to appear human. Always a difficulty for him, these days.

To appear human, that is. Something Lestat very much never wishes to be again.

As he pushes a panel to open a door, it slides away to reveal some sort of bar.

Lip upping up in disgust, he practically sneers as he walks in.]

They could have at least attempted to make this place asthetically pleasing.

slams this down

[incubo]

[ the average person doesn't make a beeline for the bar once waking up. after showering, most people want to check on friends and loved ones, make certain their belongings survived the jump, et cetera. most people, therefore, aren't finch. he's alone here, for one thing, and he makes it a point not to get too close to anyone-- best not to when you are what finch is. and.. well, it's not as if he has anything here that he can't and won't live without.

so finch is at the bar, sprawled on a stool and watching the new people as they slowly trickle in. hunger gnaws at his insides, as always, a little more insistent after a jump. as if there's something about it that just takes it out of him. he could go to one of his regulars, probably. godric and eric, at least, are likely settled again. but.. he has a while yet, and this new crop is.. interesting. there's a lot of promise here, lots of new potential.

the copper-coloured gaze that finds lestat, therefore, is probably familiar to him at least in that it's a predator's focused stare. he barks out a short laugh at the comment, sitting up, the motion fluid and sensual. (he can't help it. it's what he is.) ]

You're on a big metal death-trap in the middle of nowhere and that's your first complaint? Priorities, I like 'em.

Lara Croft | Tomb Raider

[tomb_raider]

[The door to the lift opens and Lara Croft steps out. She's managed to clean herself up after waking up and put on the crew jumpsuit, since she can't very well wander around naked. Her movements are slow and cautious. She isn't really sure she wants to run into anyone. This place isn't Yamatai but it's still unknown and could hold new types of dangers.

There were a number of things found in her locker, most of them tools and weapons. One such weapon, a silver pistol is carried in her hand. She doesn't bother holstering it because she's planning on using it on anyone who tries to hurt her.

A little caution might be best when approaching her, since she looks disoriented, confused and a little bit scared.]

[ooc: Lara's already on reserve. I'm looking forward to apping soon!]

[idkmybffbloodwing]

[Mordecai has an eye for antique weapons. There are a number of them here, of course, what with so many people being from nearly three millennia ago, but the good ones still stand out. They're the sort of guns Jakobs wishes they made, and he'd always appreciated that brand - until he came face to face with the real deal, here on the Tranquility. The pistol the woman carries isn't quite the same, but he can tell at a glimpse that it's from the same era, and he'd guess by the way she's holding it that she knows how to use it, too, which he appreciates even more. Too many damned people wander this ship and pretend they've seen real combat.

She must be new. He has a drink from his canteen, then walks over with a casual sort of smile on his face, in contrast with the bird on his shoulder who is staring hard at the unfamiliar woman, ready to move if she so much as shows a hint of aggression.]

Mornin', muchacha. You lost?