ataraxioff | THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME RIDES AGAIN.

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THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME RIDES AGAIN.

TEST DRIVE MEME

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[ arthur looks up from studying his forearm. really, he was a bit too old for a tattoo. ]

What? No, sorry, I'm Arthur.

[ wait, what. ]

An Arthur? What planet - [ oh wait that's a name. that's a... that's an earth name. he'd been thinking of the guy as english, but he also secretly thought of aeryn as australian. it's just one of those relateability things, right.

so now his eyes are narrowed in suspicion, and he sounds very, very dubious when he asks the next question. ]

Where are you from?

London.

[ he responds promptly, and then grimaces. ]

Which is on Earth. Was, sorry. Was on Earth. You probably haven't heard of it.

[ arthur dent, hipster hitch-hiker. ]

[ there's a delay in which john probably looks more angry than anything, but then he closes the gap between them and embraces arthur in a very firm hug that may involve lifting him off the floor an inch or two. he releases him a second later, hands going to his shoulders instead, and now he's smiling instead of looking scary.

actually no, he might still look scary on account of wearing lots of leather and hugging a naked man, but whatever. ]

Sweet jesus, you have no idea how happy I am to see you. Well, not you specifically, but - Earth, man. Do you know how long it's been since I talked sports with someone who actually knew what the hell "football" meant?

[ arthur lets out a horrific choking squawk at being embraced, and it takes him a moment to realize he's not being strangled so much as suffocatingly crushed with affection. the buckles dig in awkwardly. after crichton sets him down, arthur coughs primly and straightens his towel. ]

[ another human. he's not sure how he feels about that. relieved, of course, but also... a little awkward. he's not sure he's very good at being an earthling any more. ]

Are you American? You sound American. So I'm not certain you know what football is.

[ that much, he remembers. ]

But it's very nice to meet you, I'm sure. How did you manage to escape Earth?

American. [ if he looks deliriously happy, it's because he never thought something so stupid could be so nostalgic. ] You called me an American-

[ john actually isn't so great at being an earthling anymore either, if you hadn't noticed. too much hanging out with eccentric aliens with no concept of personal space. but the last comment stops him up quickly, expression sobering. ]

Sorry, I think I still have some of that blue gunk stuck in my ears. I didn't escape anything, Earth was doing just fine when I left it. [ then, probably somewhat abruptly: ] What year is it?

[ arthur squints at him. ]

I don't really... know.

[ he's not even sure how old he is anymore. ]

I've been travelling a long time.

[ he looks down at his arms again, distracted from his story by virtue of his, well, being alive. ]

[ that is the absolute worst non-answer. john can sympathize, because fuck if he knows what year it is back home right now, but- ]

Okay, let's try that again. What year did you escape Earth?

[ he doesn't like the sound of that. he dislikes actually saying it even more, but he's not going to drop the idea of earth in the past tense so easily. ]

That's a surprisingly complicated question.

[ arthur chews the inside of his mouth for a moment, does an awkward little shuffle made odder by his relative nudity. he doesnt want to break the news to this guy, especially when he's not sure there's news to break. the status of the earth is a bit of a mental question mark for him. ]

Er, look, could I have a shower first? Only, I think this stuff dries hard, and well, I don't really want to end up looking like a living statue.

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