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THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME STRIKES BACK

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I'm eighteen. You'll understand addictions when you're done growing up.

[ he catches the towel, even if his attention's wandered. which it has, and he's looking a bit disgruntled about something - because yes, the medical equipment and the showers, and this is actually really inconvenient, even if it is interesting.

well, no, it's too convenient. that's part of the problem. either way, he simply tucks the towel under an arm without a second thought. someone else might appreciate it, even if it's slightly used. rude. ]

Doubt it. I'm sure a vessel of this size and advancement has a very efficient recycling system in place. Perhaps fertilizer if they generate their own food.

[ another pause for consideration, half a second. ] Likely hydroponic.

[ meaning not soil, meaning not piles of shit laying around. suck it. ]

[He's tired. Bone-weary and aching with sleep loss and jump sickness and the paranoia that seeps into his veins even with the loss of his mask. It effects him enough that while Russia would usually spend some time lingering around looking for familiar faces, this time he heads straight to the showers.

Except, half way there he spots a familiar figure out of the corner of his eye and thinks he's hallucinating again. His head whips around so fast he probably gives himself whiplash but no, he was right, there's a soggy, blue Captain over there and it's a solid punch to the gut to see him. Russia's striding over before he realizes and wraps Jack up in a back breaking hug, laughing against his shoulder.]

Jack! [Slightly bewildered, but mostly relieved, he pulls back with hands resting at shoulders and grins. Just ignore him, he's taking a moment to make sure you're all in one piece.] Couldn't stay away, hm?

[It wouldn't surprise anyone who knew her to find that Galadriel had found her way to the oxygen gardens. Her footsteps fall softly on the grass, her fingers brushing lightly against the taller plants as she walks.

The light that beams down on her isn't sunlight. There is no breeze blowing through her hair, but, for the moment, this will have to do.

She sighs and drops her hand back down to her side. She really doesn't have time for this.]

Is it? [Figuring, thinking, so many points of departure. Little tattoos, little lines of possibility. They whys and wherefores.] No, no. Not the whole point. Only a piece of it.

[He'd remember long enough to get him from point A to point B and well on the way to point Z which had some tangential affiliation to whatever point C was or would have been. But that hardly mattered, because they were on some strange craft and Walter was most fascinated with the how at the moment. There were so many reasons. Like donkeys, and cats, and horses, and bananas, and ships full of strange people from strange places -- because that over there wasn't human, but the bone structure was fascinating.]

Noah's Ark. [He waved a Red Vine.] Maybe that's it. [And then he took a bite and mumbled around it.] Although, I may be a bit old for that. You, however--

[And apparently, an elf can't even go to the kitchens to get something to eat without running into an old enemy.

Wow. That sure is Sauron sitting right there.

Don't mind if she just...stares for a second.]

[ It's actually only vaguely paid, but that's semantics she isn't getting into. Dealing with Mulder on a regular basis left little to no time to herself, and Scully ended up accumulating quite a bit of vacation time as a result of that.

She caught sight of Sherlock earlier on, but opted not to say anything; maybe it was the typical reaction of everyone here that the paintings on the wall would be something to talk about, but when no one else seemed to point or draw attention to it, she figured they must have been far too familiar with the scenery. ]

Somewhat. [ Her lips curl slightly into a smile, with the clarification needed - helpful actually. ] Although one could excuse this as another vacation on its own. Assuming it ends up permanent.

[ Shrugging, it's clear enough that the situation, permanent or not is still bothersome, no matter how much she'd rather avoid it. ]

[ Scott looks up. He doesn't know this girl, but he notices her accent immediately. British? Oh man, where is he?

On seeing hers, he holds up his phone too. All it says is that it won't connect. ]

Well I guess if yours is unlocked, and it's still not working, I've got no hope. I was trying to get my friend. I was just with him, until I woke up in that--

[ Scott makes a gesture at his mouth, indicating that he'd woken up with something in it. He'd just gotten out of there as quickly as he could. ]

Man, where are we? Do you know? I'm Scott, by the way.

[ Technically, Mulder's right. On the other hand, Scully's saved up enough days to get away from her partner in crime, because there's too many sunny days and not enough rice ice cream to enjoy in the drafty corner office she's grown accustomed too. ]

You have gloves.

[ She looks somewhat offended by that, eyes narrowed, but the lightness of her tone suggests otherwise. Two can play at this game. ] I got a flashlight and a suit that would make Catwoman proud.

[ And all the standard FBI equipment that comes with her, but that doesn't need to be announced. ] I doubt you could find a Denny's out in... come to think of it, I have no idea where we are. [ What with no windows at all. ] Short of a terrible attempt at graffiti if you ask me.

[ Bewildered is a good word for all parties involved. Because the last thing that Jack remembers is the very last jump. Jump 12.

Jack knows how this goes--after all, he's been doing it for nearly a year now. Wake up, go to the showers, go to the lockers. Make sure everyone he cares about is still here. Scout out the new people. Get drunk. Not to mention the few things that simply never changed, like the number written on his arm.

But this time, things were different. Very different. This was not Jump 13, it was Jump 18. And the number on his arm no longer read 002, but 018. He's used to the Tranquility fucking with time--it's messed with him before. But it's never messed with the number on his arm. And it's perhaps that, more than anything else, tells him that something strange is going on here.

A feeling confirmed by the massive, bone crushing hug by the entire nation of Russia. But he can't help but be relieved as well--several jumps might have gone by, but he really is glad that his closest friend is still here to welcome him back. He gives Russia a grin. ]

Trust me, mate. If it were up t'me, I wouldn't be here.

[ See. It's understandable that maybe for a second or two, Rose's attention would be away from the halls behind her— Only looking forward for windows or other rooms to check inside of them. So maybe for that split second, she wouldn't have realized this guy coming up behind her. Derpy smile and confused mannerisms and all. Except he seems a little upset about something. ]

Hello, pretty lady? Are you looking for something? ...or someone? [ Oh my god. What if she's— ] Are you a super secret detective...?

Rose. Um...my name. It's Rose Tyler. [She gives him a sympathetic smile, one that clearly says she understands where he woke up and also got the hell out of there as fast as she could. A hand goes up to her mouth and her fingers curl against her lips, and she thinks over a proper response to his question.]

Dunno where we're at, sorry to say. Woke up here just the same as you did, from the sound of it. All kinds of ordinary people are just being sucked up and put here.

[And that doesn't make any sense at all, why bring so many people on board a spaceship and then just let them wander around and do just about whatever they please? Her lips purse together and she pinches at them a bit, before giving out a sigh.]

Usually when things like this happen it's easier to figure out what's going on. There's always some sort of clue, or... something.

[It's a bit funny because that this has happened before. People coming back and friends joining their ranks again but they'd always just been acquaintances to Russia while Jack was more and seeing his friend here is a sharp relief. And excuse him, but Russia can't exactly bring himself to pull away completely, touchy with mask influence and needing contact regardless.]

Aye, I believe you. [He chuckles under his breath, eyes brighter than they have been in months and claps Jack's shoulder once more before pulling back.] I've got something for you.

[The Pearl he means, because even though Russia's also got trinkets he braids into his hair, those are his now and a comfort. He's gone months with them and while he doesn't need them, he's gotten used to it.]

Come, lets get this blue off and find your locker, hm?

[Because even Jedi are idiots man, especially Jedi trained by failed Padawans. Just giving you a look now Han.]

It never is, though I'm not your buddy.

What?

[It's said with a large dose of amusement, and she arches both eyebrows as she flashes a grin in his direction. He seems upset maybe, or probably just new to this whole thing the same as so many others here are. She laughs a little, and shakes her head.]

Super secret time agent, more like. [She isn't sure if he'll take her seriously, but it's close enough to the truth! Besides, what's the point of all the things she's seen and done if she can't make up a title for herself every now and then?]

I'm Rose. Are you - [She pauses, leaning in a bit so she can whisper.]

The time agent thing, it's honestly more freelance than official. And it's our little secret, yeah?

Do I look okay?

[ but she reaches for him despite the snap in her voice, because no matter what he'll protect her-- that's always been sure between them, and this time the anger isn't even with him at all. ]

What's-- I don't understand what's going on. This is impossible, things like this just don't-- [ tara breathes in hard through her nose, trying to stave off a panic attack. ] If this is some sick joke...

[She supposes, standing in the middle of a ransacked kitchen, that her craving for chips was poorly timed. She's not even sure if they have chips in space, but even if they did, she thinks this alien has probably already eaten right through them.

She stands there and just watches for a few moments, her face a mixture of amusement and disgust.]

You're just gonna go through it all, then? Eat and eat and leave nothing for the rest of us?

[She's not trying to criticize, really. She tries to smile, but can't exactly wipe that look of 'what the hell is going on here' off her face. Awkwardly, she nudges some of the food mess away from her with the toe of her shoe.]

[ the last few years of his life have been eventful, true, but luke is still puzzling a bit over how he'd arrived on a strange ship when he's certain he'd been on endor just a few hours ago. it's not the remains of the empire, he's certain-- for one thing, he'd been left his clothing and lightsaber, which any imperial would have been (quite frankly) stupid to do.

more strangely, there are very familiar figures aboard. presences in the force that he'd thought.. gone. the thought makes his chest ache, tight and uncomfortable. it shouldn't be possible, but.. there are a lot of things about this situation that shouldn't be possible.

he's been making his way gradually toward them since showering and dressing, still-damp hair leaving the high collar of his shirt wet as he strides down the hallways. he adjusts the glove on his prosthetic hand as he turns a corner, pausing briefly to just breathe. he hasn't even had time to get a check-up. he knows there's probably some damage from palpatine's attack that needs to be repaired, but-- well. he doesn't have time for that right now, and he needs to find out more about this place and why he's even here. ]

[ he nods slightly, but it's more an autopilot reaction than anything, miming that he's paying attention to her as his focus shifts back to the wall. he's listening, of course, but it's small talk, and when he speaks up again it's somewhat abrupt. ]

Relocation. That would be a relocation, not a holiday. Technically.

[ and while small talk is fascinating (it's not), he's curious about something else entirely. the next question's a departure, and it's nosy, but he asks it as though he's talking about the weather. ]

Where were you last? Before waking up here.

Presents! Wonderful, I love presents!

[ Jack doesn't consider the option that the Pearl is his present. Mostly because he figures that the Pearl will be in his locker. Or, failing that, still in his room on 002. Speaking of which, ]

Supposed this means me room's changed too.

[ He's not sure he likes that idea. He enjoyed being a 002, sharing a floor with Russia and the Netherlands, Wichita and Ariadne, and everyone else he's become accustomed to seeing on a regular basis.

He wonders who all is still here. Five months is a long time to be gone, after all.

He starts walking in the direction of the showers. He's never been able to fully rid himself of the blue goo, but he always tries. Much too similar to Kraken goo to his liking. ]

I miss anythin'?

[ He is, of course, being facetious. He knows he likely missed a lot. Jack thinks he would be more surprised if nothing happened in the whole time he was gone. And perhaps extremely worried as well. ]

[ There's a Zoidberg.

A Zoidberg.

Zoidberg.

Ryan can't wrap his head around this. He kind of got the idea that movie characters can suddenly pop up in the Tranquility after he saw Obi-Wan and Frodo. And Luke. And various other people he's seen on television in some point in his life. But a Zoidberg, though?

It's just like the TV show. This guy's making the weirdest goddamn noises and there's spit and foot and gross stuff flying all over. Something rather slimy makes it way into his hair, and starts to trickle down his face. Ryan doesn't want to touch it, and he doesn't want to know what it is.

Before he knew it, Ryan's approaching the pink thing as best as he can (without getting smacked in the face with something else that's equally as gross). ] Are you hungry...?

[he's half listening as he leans in to study the painting, chipping at it slightly with his thumb.]

It's better than graffiti. It's like primitive cave-art, less primitive--the Cave of Altamira as done by paranoid schizophrenics. On acid. You just gotta have an eye for it, Scully.

[a little more chipping at the paint, and now he's smiling at the wall.]

Catwoman. Me-yow.

[aaaand moving on, like he hadn't said anything:] Don't tell me they haven't told you where we're supposed to be.

[He senses him before he sees him, and he sees him a few moments later, turning the corner, curious. Whoever it is, it's not someone he knows, but the Force is strong, and pushing him, nudging him. It's a curious thing, he thinks.

He sees the young man and his eyebrows furrow. It's definitely not a man he knows, not with the high collar and the clothes. But he carries himself with purpose, and...]

Hello.

[That's what he's getting right now. That and a polite Padawan bow]

[Zoidberg at least now doesn't feel ravenous. It's his first free meal in a couple days. It's enough that he pokes his head up from where it had been lowered into a pile of food.]

What? It's free!

[He pauses and looks around briefly.] Isn't it?

[ blue eyes lift, meeting obi-wan's own, and for a moment, he's stunned silent. this is his former teacher; he'll always know his particular signature in the force. but this is obi-wan as he must have been decades before, as a youth. he must be luke's age, if not younger.

senses recovered, he mentally shakes himself, dipping immediately into a bow of his own. when he straightens again, he's smiling a little helplessly. this is impossible, but who is he to say what the force is capable of? and he's so happy to see him again. ]

Obi-Wan. It is you, isn't it? How-- [ he steps forward, booted feet nearly silent. ] How is this possible?

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