THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME STRIKES BACK

[eppy]

TEST DRIVE MEME

 

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4/4!

[assumedposition]

You idiot!

[And if that wasn't enough of a reverse from the usual, Albert punches him. Hard.]

[discretion]

Oof!

[Albert's prone to his overreactions, but Franz is still very surprised by the fist that collides with his face. He's still disoriented, and falls right over.]

What the hell is wrong with you? Have you lost your mind?

[Reacting purely on instinct, Franz kicks Albert, hard.

Never minding that Albert has every reason to be angry at him.

But still, punching the person who saved your life? That's pretty low.]

1/2 sob sorry double again

[assumedposition]

[Albert grunts as the foot connects with a thunk. Fine, two can play at that game, and he launches himself at Franz bodily.]

Maybe I have! How would you know?! You-- you--!

[His arms are shaking visibly.]

2/2

[assumedposition]

[And then the wind seems to go out of him completely.]

I couldn't... I couldn't even attend your funeral... you bastard, how could you?!

[His voice cracks near the end, and now it's pretty obvious that he's crying.]

[discretion]

[Albert crying. This he's pretty used to.

Confronting the reality of what he's done to Albert in sacrificing himself? He has no idea what to do about this.

Franz rubs Albert's shoulders gently.]

I'm sorry.

I did what needed to be done. You were about to throw your life away, and I had a chance... I knew I couldn't best him in combat, but I thought I might be able to... I found out what he really was, and I thought I might stop him.

[assumedposition]

[What did you say, Franz? Cry harder?]

Idiot...! I-- I don't care about your stupid excuses!

[He buries his face in Franz's chest once more-- so familiar, so comforting, so real. He tries to breathe in that scent but all that ends up happening is more tears.]

I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Franz...

[discretion]

[If Franz knew a way to banish those tears, if, God forgive him, he could kiss them away--]

Shh, it's okay. I'm here now.

[A pause.]

Wherever 'here' is...

[assumedposition]

[Belatedly wiping at his face with his coat sleeve furiously, he gets himself slightly more under control; though his wobbling voice still gives him away.]

It's a spaceship... I don't know what galaxy though. It-- it pulls people aboard somehow. People from all different worlds and times. People who are alive and people who-- who are supposed to be dead...

I've been here... two months now? Yeah. Two months. And before I came here, it had only been about two weeks since you... I-- I'm not sure exactly, sorry. Time sort of... all mushed together. Back then.

[discretion]

[Franz reaches in his pocket for a hankie, and frowns when he realizes there's none to produce. He attempts to sit up, still cautiously rubbing at one of Albert's shoulders.

He is desperately glad for a change of subject.]

How can you not know who we are? Who owns the ship? Who pilots it?

Not that I'm not glad to see you again. [More than Franz could ever hope to truly describe.] But this is all very suspicious.

[assumedposition]

What...? [Albert's too busy reeling from the sudden emotional turmoil of seeing Franz alive again; the sudden onslaught of technical questions throws him for a loop, but he soon recovers.]

I... the only remaining crew are Captain Ward and Commander Resnik... I don't know where we are because the galaxy names have no meaning to me. We're so far off in the future that they even number the years differently-- saying our date or location when we don't have any frame of reference for it, isn't it-- well, kind of useless...?

[discretion]

[This is a guy who saw Gankutsuou's true face and said LET'S GO TO THE LIBRARY.]

That doesn't make any sense. What would they want with us in the future?

[Franz sighs heavily, rubbing his temples with his free hand. He's still feeling rather ill.]

[assumedposition]

Franz... just-- just shut up. For one day. Let me just be happy that you're here.

[And then, finally managing to smile through his wet eyes.]

[discretion]

[Franz simply can't resist the urge to tousle Albert's hair. Part of him wants to be annoyed that Albert can't focus on what's important, then again, surely even he wouldn't have wandered around on a space ship for two months without learning something.]

...Okay.

Do you punch everyone who wakes up here or am I just special? [Franz teases with a crooked little grin.]

[assumedposition]

[That gets some kind of a snort-laugh out of him.]

Just you.

[He wipes his face again and breathes in and out slowly, calming down properly.]

Just-- don't ever give me cause to do it again, okay? I missed you.

[discretion]

I'll do my best! [Franz laughs, clapping him on the back. He tries to make it into a joke, for when would such a situation ever turn up in their lives again? Then again, they've been thrust into a totally unknown situation. It could very well happen again.

...And he would do it in a heartbeat for an Albert. He's quite certain that won't change.]

[assumedposition]

[It doesn't escape Albert's notice-- Franz has still been his best friend for the better part of a decade, after all. Albert might still miss much, but at the very least he's familiar with the way Franz is an expert in changing the subject, or in making something serious into a joke, to avoid being scrutinized too closely. Albert sighs.]

... There you go again-- you're always like that. I'm being serious here.

[It's almost too much to take in. Franz is here. Right here, beside him. Alive. Alive and breathing and joking, like everything is fine, everything is normal and nothing bad at all had happened.]

[discretion]

[Franz can't think about it. He simply can't. What would it accomplish? He's already feeling claustrophobic, knowing they're out in space in a ship and the only way he's even alive is because of this strange situation. He'll never see the Paris of his youth again. He'll probably never see his mother again. It's a miracle that Albert is here, but he's suspicious of it.

What's left, if he can't admit he's afraid to face this?

Just like he could never face so many truths, just laughed at them over his shoulder and held on tightly to the boy in front of him when he knew, he knew he would lose Albert someday, he just couldn't let it be like that...


No, it has to be jokes as usual.]

Hey, one of us has to stay levelheaded here, y'know.

[His voice says looks like it's me again.]

[assumedposition]

To hell with being level-headed!

[Someone should write that on Albert's coat of arms. But how else is he supposed to feel right now? Is he supposed to be calm and joke around like Franz? He can't do that. "You don't understand," is on the tip of his tongue, but that wouldn't be fair, so he catches himself. Of course Franz doesn't understand. How could he?

I'm responsible for your death, I didn't listen, I was so selfish and stubborn. I watched you die. I felt the warmth drain out of your body, I held you after the last breath left your body and until the paramedics came and they had to pull me off you. I stood at your gravestone. Every day I prayed that next jump you'd be here, and every night I have that nightmare again where your blood is on my hands and I can't get it off. You left me, and it's my fault, and now I've changed, but I'm still trying to desperately cling on to who I was. How the hell can I be level headed?

He almost says it. There's a long pause where he thinks it. But the days when Albert would blurt out exactly what he was thinking without a care for anyone else's feelings have faded. Eventually he lets go of the breath he didn't know he was holding, and what comes out is:]

... Sorry. I'm still a little ... overwhelmed, that's all.

[discretion]

[The first thing says is so typical Albert that Franz barely contains his fond laugh. He seems strangely quiet, after that, and Franz isn't sure how to respond when he was expecting more shouting.

What has happened between them is huge, and it's his fault in a way. How can one mend a gulf like death? The Count had already lured Albert so far away from him, further than their respective marriages and eventual duties would pull them from each other.]

You're not the only one, okay?

[Franz holds Albert close, almost cradling him for a long moment. This place is different, but Albert's hair, his skin still smell like he remembers. It's buried beneath the sterile, mechanical scent of this place but it's there. Albert is here, and real, and he never thought he'd see him again.

He sort of wishes he could cry, so he would stop feeling so raw yet plugged up inside.]

[assumedposition]

[Albert rests on Franz like that for a while, letting himself be comforted. He let his breathing slow as the familiar sensation washed over him. It was the natural way of things, it seemed. Even after death, Franz was still the one taking care of him, looking out for him... just once, he should like to be able to take care of Franz and not the other way around. It never occurred to him before, but now -- now it just seems so ... so one-sided. Franz should resent him, at least a little.

A nasty thought occurs to him.]

... Franz. This is real, right?

[discretion]

[...Well that's a horrible thought. But if it weren't real, shouldn't Franz be the only one with the ability to question it? That seems like dream logic. Dream people tend to be a lot more straightforward. Franz frowns slightly, pressing his lips together in a line of concentration.

There have been reports that people dying have rich hallucinations, but he can't imagine his own mind fabricating something this elaborate. He hopes his own mind is a little more organized.

Franz rubs his chin a moment, looking deep in thought.

Then gives Albert a firm pinch on his cheek, pulling slightly.

Not letting go, he asks in a deadpan:] Well, does that hurt?

[assumedposition]

[The reaction is immediate:]

Owwwwwwwww yes! Leggo!

[discretion]

[And Franz snickers at the pain he's caused Albert in this moment. It feels really good. Almost normal. Almost.

He lets go.] Must not be dreaming, then.

[assumedposition]

[Rubbing at the abused cheek]

Geez... you could've done it some other way!

[discretion]

Simply telling you wouldn't have sufficed, would it? Even though I kicked you before.

[Yes, Albert is so cute when he's indignant. He'd much rather see him fussing like this than crying. It lifts his heart even though there are still so many questions.

Franz was so certain he'd never see Albert again, no matter what happened.]