THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME STRIKES BACK

[eppy]

TEST DRIVE MEME

 

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[discretion]

[And Franz snickers at the pain he's caused Albert in this moment. It feels really good. Almost normal. Almost.

He lets go.] Must not be dreaming, then.

[assumedposition]

[Rubbing at the abused cheek]

Geez... you could've done it some other way!

[discretion]

Simply telling you wouldn't have sufficed, would it? Even though I kicked you before.

[Yes, Albert is so cute when he's indignant. He'd much rather see him fussing like this than crying. It lifts his heart even though there are still so many questions.

Franz was so certain he'd never see Albert again, no matter what happened.]

[assumedposition]

Please. You call that a kick? I barely felt it.

[discretion]

Oh, please! You cried out like a girl!

[So maybe his kick wasn't up to snuff. It probably has something to do with having died recently and now turning up all woozy from cold sleep, or whatever the hell just happened.

It's certainly a dizzying thought. Franz pushes Albert off of him.] Come on. You need to show me around this place.

[assumedposition]

... All right, all right, come on. Let's get you settled.

I take it you found your locker? You'll have a room that corresponds to the same number. And-- you must be hungry, right? I'll show you to the kitchens too, and-- and I've been learning how to cook! So I can make you something to eat when we get there.

[No guarantees on quality, though.]

[discretion]

You're cooking, huh? I guess it's true when they say the future brings unimaginable wonders...

[Franz struggles to his feet, shaking his head a little in amusement.]

[assumedposition]

Well it's not like they have servants here. It's every man for himself!

[Albert stands too, and begins leading the way.]

[discretion]

[Franz snorts quietly and rolls his eyes. It's easy to forget that Albert does know what he's talking about... it will be interesting to see how he's fared without people to tend to his every need.] No servants? How terribly uncivilized...

[assumedposition]

It was really awful, the first few weeks...! But I'm getting the hang of it now. I figure... it's good practice for me anyway. Even if we manage to get back home... I can't go on living with Mother forever.

[discretion]

With your mother... Albert, your father... did the Count...? [Franz stops, touching Albert's arm. He knows the pain of losing his father. Of course, the man known to everyone as Fernand de Morcerf was hardly a good person. Franz understands how love can twist a person, and he still can't imagine nor understand what Fernand has done. Not only to his own best friend, but a planet full of innocents.

He does not want to believe his best friend's father deserved to die, but as the Count's plan spun, it seemed inevitable. Franz hadn't been able to stop the monster.]

[assumedposition]

[It had just slipped out, really-- he had forgotten that Franz wouldn't know, that he'd have to explain. He's so used to Franz just automatically knowing everything.]

No. No, he... [Albert draws a breath, steeling himself. He hasn't spoken of this to anyone, since he arrived here. He doesn't even want to think about it, most days. If it were anyone else, he'd shrug them off somehow. But it's Franz. If he can't tell Franz, then what was the point of having a best friend?]

... He committed suicide, in the end. ... I guess-- maybe, he couldn't come to terms with the reality of the things he'd done. ... Ugh, I don't really want to talk about it, sorry. I didn't even mean to bring it up.

[discretion]

Of course. [Franz never speaks of his father. Sometimes his mother wants to talk of him, and they do, but only then. He can respect if Albert wants to leave the subject well alone, though it seems unlike him not to cry or complain. Maybe it's been long enough that all of that's behind him. He's grown up a little.] I shouldn't have mentioned it either.

[assumedposition]

[He would cry about Franz's death. He would still be crying about that for months to come, even with Franz right beside him. He would even cry about the Count's death. But his feelings surrounding his father's death are so complicated... he cried at the time, but now the tears won't come. He's not just upset-- he's angry, and he hates what his father did. And then he hates that he's angry, and hates himself for not being able to just let the whole thing go. So... it's a mess, basically.]

No... you weren't to know. And you have a right to know what happened, in any case. You knew him as well as anyone.

[discretion]

[When Franz was younger, he looked up a lot to Fernand. It was a natural sort of thing for a boy to do, missing a father figure as he was. He came to think of Fernand as something like an uncle, someone he was fond of and someone he secretly hoped would give him that 'masculine' guidance that people seemed to think he desperately needed. There were rumors about boys who were too spoiled by their mothers and never taught to be proper men by their fathers, though it seemed like Albert was the one who grew up sensitive and mollycoddled.

As Franz grew up he began to think less of the adults in their world, and Fernand was no exception. Everything he learned came as a shock and bitter disappointment for a brief time, and he was a little saddened to realize it didn't actually require a stretch of the imagination to think Fernand, Villeforte and Danglars were capable of what they did.

It was just more of the same from the aristocracy.

Disgusting, and they are part of it too, rolled up in it, stuck. Franz always wanted to get a job off-planet doing something useful, in its own, sick way, perhaps now is when he'll have his chance.]

I suppose I knew as much and as little.

[Where it anyone else, Franz might point out there were plenty who knew Fernand better. Haydee Tebelin, Mercedes, the Count. But that's not what Albert needs to hear right now, or possibly ever.

Franz gives Albert's arm another gentle squeeze.] I'm sorry.

I don't know how someone like that made someone like you, but... You are everything he's not.

[assumedposition]

[Thinking about Fernand is absolutely top of the list of things that make Albert uneasy, confused and upset. He doesn't even know how he should begin to respond to that. For all that happened, he still loved his father. Should he get defensive on his behalf? But it wouldn't be the truth... should he just accept it? Should he add to it? Franz doesn't even know the half of it. Franz doesn't know that Fernand shot his own wife and son.

No, it's too much. Franz doesn't need to know that. He'd only worry more over something that he couldn't change. In the end, Albert decides that the best way to respond to that is to not.]

... Anyway. It's in the past now.

You'll probably be glad to know ... the Count-- Edmond Dantes is dead, too. [But that's a sticking point between them, so he doesn't really want to have a conversation about that right now either. He hurries on.] I was living with Mother in a small place in Marseille... we were still thinking about my options for the future when I woke up here. Eugénie got an offer to study at some famous music school in New York, so she's in America now. And Haydée has returned to Janina, to take back her rightful place on the throne.

[discretion]

She got into Julliard! And her parents let her go? Oh, good for Eugenie. She deserves it. [She deserves out of that terrible house, and deserves to have her talent recognized. Albert and Franz had it easy compared to her, but Franz didn't know how to rescue her. Maybe he was banking on the fact Albert always will.

Franz could never be with her, but he supported Albert and Eugenie. He wanted them both happy and safe.

Speaking of rescue, though...]

And Valentine? And Max? [Maximilien's friendship was invaluable to Franz. In many ways, the soldier knew more about Franz than Albert did. From the way Albert is acting, he trusts that Max never revealed his secret. Better that way, he thinks.]

[assumedposition]

Well ... they didn't really let her, exactly, but ... she didn't give them much of a choice. Not that they gave her one, either-- oh Franz, it was awful. Monsieur Danglars' stocks all crashed at once, so he was forcing her to get married to that awful Andrea Cavalcanti. Renaud, Peppo and I staged an intervention to get her out of there, and from there we ran straight to the airport. Monsieur Danglars, though ... after that it's said he ran away on a flight with the remains of his money, but nobody's heard from him since. I don't know how Eugénie is taking it ...

Valentine and Max seem to be doing fine, though. But I think Max will probably be called back to the front lines soon ... who knows.

[discretion]

I think she'd probably say something like, "I'm glad I never have to see that pig again. Good riddance." [Franz's Eugenie imitation isn't quite as spot-on as his Albert imitation... but it's close. He even throws in a huffy sigh, and smiles.

He actually has to pause right after they enter the elevator, bracing one wall. It's occurred to him he'll probably never see any of them again either.]

Thanks... for telling me.

[assumedposition]

Haha, probably...

[That last comment earns Franz a surprised look, though.]

What? You don't have to thank me for that. They're your friends too. Of course I'd tell you.

[discretion]

Of course. [For once in his life, Franz can't think of a smart-ass reply, so he remains quiet for a long moment.

I really am dead. He hugs himself tightly.]

So, we get private rooms here and everything? Just how big is this ship? What's its destination?

[assumedposition]

That's right. You'll have a room assigned to you, same number as your locker. Each room has two beds, though, so-- you can sleep over at mine any time. Like old times.

[He doesn't want to let on, but his desire to not let Franz out of his sight ever again even for a moment currently outweighs his desire for personal space and privacy.]

The ship's pretty big. Huge, even. It seems like it was designed for long-distance travel for a large number of people. Perhaps even a small colony. There are multiple kitchens, rec rooms, even a garden. As for the destination... nobody knows. Or-- nobody's telling, at any rate.

[discretion]

A huge ship pulling people from across time and space to an unknown destination... sounds ominous. [Franz just shakes his head. He has a lot more questions, but if they're stuck here, it seems like they'll have a lot of time to find out. He's just expecting to find out that the ship is powered by slaves, or rare creatures from a planet now almost extinct, or any other number of horrors. He'll get to the bottom of it, that's what he does. For now, he grins over his shoulder at Albert.]

If you want me to stay over, all you have to do is ask. I get it, you're probably pretty scared of the dark in a place like this, huh?

[assumedposition]

[Oh my god, Franz. Rude. Indignantly:]

Wh-What! I am not!

[discretion]

Riiiiight.

I'm just saying, in case you are scared... You can tell me. I'll be here.

[Because Franz can't ask for that help. Can't be the one who's scared, freshly awakened from his traumatic death.]