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Franz d'Epinay | Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo

[discretion]

[It's cold.

Many a poem goes on about the coldness, the unforgiving nature of death. Franz was always a bit too skeptical to be entirely religious, but he hadn't had time to worry about things in the heat of the moment, the clash of swords and the pain and chill as his life bled away.

Albert's arms were warm, but he is not embraced by his friend any longer.

He is dizzy, cold, utterly confused and vaguely angry. He is familiar enough with space ships, though he's never been on a trip that necessitated a cold sleep.

He supposes it is possible he was put in stasis to be worked on, but how could such a thing be afforded? Is he on a ship, in some kind of facility? Why would anyone bother with such a thing?

Feeling disturbed and ill, Franz stumbles into his clothes, and sinks to sit on the ground, urging his world to stop spinning.]

Why..?!

[assumedposition]

[Albert's getting better at the jumps already. This is his third time now, waking up like this. They said it gets easier, and it does. But never too easy. Amongst the chaos of everybody else waking, stumbling, showering, changing and so on and so forth in their own time, Albert manages to find his way to the showers this time without preamble, taking care to keep his eyes steadily on the ground so as not to make the nausea worse.

He thinks about the last jump as the hot water runs. Last jump... last jump he had looked for familiar faces as soon as he'd woken up. But not this time. Why? Was he really the sort of person to give up so easily?

The stray thought made him annoyed. He turned off the shower abruptly and exited, toweled off and changed. He had to be more resilient than this-- even if it hurt every time when he found nobody there. So he returns to the grav couches, and from the doorway, sweeps his gaze over the crowd again.]

[discretion]

Albert?

[Franz staggers to his feet, spurred on by the sight of his friend. He hopes this means he's not in some kind of afterlife - he does not want to believe that all his effort to save Albert were for naught. But what is he doing here? What are they both...]

Heyyyy!

[And Franz's action is to PUNCH HIS FRIEND ON THE SHOULDER.

With love.]

I was beginning to think this was a really lousy party.

[Albert is just looking so heartbroken... he hopes he can make him laugh.

Because he made him cry, last time they were together.]

1/???

[assumedposition]

[For a moment, everything feels like it's moving in slow motion. He's underwater, he's-- struggling to breathe. For a moment Albert just stands dreadfully still and stares. It's too much.]

2/??

[assumedposition]

[His face-- what should he do with his face? There are too many emotions battling under the surface for dominance for Albert to even know what to do with himself. Shock, joy, relief, anger, sorrow... before he knows it, his eyes are watering completely involuntarily. And when he finally finds his voice again, it barely comes out in a whisper.]

Fr...anz...

3/4!

[assumedposition]

[It's too much.]

You...!

4/4!

[assumedposition]

You idiot!

[And if that wasn't enough of a reverse from the usual, Albert punches him. Hard.]

[discretion]

Oof!

[Albert's prone to his overreactions, but Franz is still very surprised by the fist that collides with his face. He's still disoriented, and falls right over.]

What the hell is wrong with you? Have you lost your mind?

[Reacting purely on instinct, Franz kicks Albert, hard.

Never minding that Albert has every reason to be angry at him.

But still, punching the person who saved your life? That's pretty low.]

1/2 sob sorry double again

[assumedposition]

[Albert grunts as the foot connects with a thunk. Fine, two can play at that game, and he launches himself at Franz bodily.]

Maybe I have! How would you know?! You-- you--!

[His arms are shaking visibly.]

2/2

[assumedposition]

[And then the wind seems to go out of him completely.]

I couldn't... I couldn't even attend your funeral... you bastard, how could you?!

[His voice cracks near the end, and now it's pretty obvious that he's crying.]

[discretion]

[Albert crying. This he's pretty used to.

Confronting the reality of what he's done to Albert in sacrificing himself? He has no idea what to do about this.

Franz rubs Albert's shoulders gently.]

I'm sorry.

I did what needed to be done. You were about to throw your life away, and I had a chance... I knew I couldn't best him in combat, but I thought I might be able to... I found out what he really was, and I thought I might stop him.

[assumedposition]

[What did you say, Franz? Cry harder?]

Idiot...! I-- I don't care about your stupid excuses!

[He buries his face in Franz's chest once more-- so familiar, so comforting, so real. He tries to breathe in that scent but all that ends up happening is more tears.]

I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Franz...

[discretion]

[If Franz knew a way to banish those tears, if, God forgive him, he could kiss them away--]

Shh, it's okay. I'm here now.

[A pause.]

Wherever 'here' is...

[assumedposition]

[Belatedly wiping at his face with his coat sleeve furiously, he gets himself slightly more under control; though his wobbling voice still gives him away.]

It's a spaceship... I don't know what galaxy though. It-- it pulls people aboard somehow. People from all different worlds and times. People who are alive and people who-- who are supposed to be dead...

I've been here... two months now? Yeah. Two months. And before I came here, it had only been about two weeks since you... I-- I'm not sure exactly, sorry. Time sort of... all mushed together. Back then.

[discretion]

[Franz reaches in his pocket for a hankie, and frowns when he realizes there's none to produce. He attempts to sit up, still cautiously rubbing at one of Albert's shoulders.

He is desperately glad for a change of subject.]

How can you not know who we are? Who owns the ship? Who pilots it?

Not that I'm not glad to see you again. [More than Franz could ever hope to truly describe.] But this is all very suspicious.

[assumedposition]

What...? [Albert's too busy reeling from the sudden emotional turmoil of seeing Franz alive again; the sudden onslaught of technical questions throws him for a loop, but he soon recovers.]

I... the only remaining crew are Captain Ward and Commander Resnik... I don't know where we are because the galaxy names have no meaning to me. We're so far off in the future that they even number the years differently-- saying our date or location when we don't have any frame of reference for it, isn't it-- well, kind of useless...?

[discretion]

[This is a guy who saw Gankutsuou's true face and said LET'S GO TO THE LIBRARY.]

That doesn't make any sense. What would they want with us in the future?

[Franz sighs heavily, rubbing his temples with his free hand. He's still feeling rather ill.]

[assumedposition]

Franz... just-- just shut up. For one day. Let me just be happy that you're here.

[And then, finally managing to smile through his wet eyes.]

[discretion]

[Franz simply can't resist the urge to tousle Albert's hair. Part of him wants to be annoyed that Albert can't focus on what's important, then again, surely even he wouldn't have wandered around on a space ship for two months without learning something.]

...Okay.

Do you punch everyone who wakes up here or am I just special? [Franz teases with a crooked little grin.]

[assumedposition]

[That gets some kind of a snort-laugh out of him.]

Just you.

[He wipes his face again and breathes in and out slowly, calming down properly.]

Just-- don't ever give me cause to do it again, okay? I missed you.

[discretion]

I'll do my best! [Franz laughs, clapping him on the back. He tries to make it into a joke, for when would such a situation ever turn up in their lives again? Then again, they've been thrust into a totally unknown situation. It could very well happen again.

...And he would do it in a heartbeat for an Albert. He's quite certain that won't change.]

[assumedposition]

[It doesn't escape Albert's notice-- Franz has still been his best friend for the better part of a decade, after all. Albert might still miss much, but at the very least he's familiar with the way Franz is an expert in changing the subject, or in making something serious into a joke, to avoid being scrutinized too closely. Albert sighs.]

... There you go again-- you're always like that. I'm being serious here.

[It's almost too much to take in. Franz is here. Right here, beside him. Alive. Alive and breathing and joking, like everything is fine, everything is normal and nothing bad at all had happened.]

[discretion]

[Franz can't think about it. He simply can't. What would it accomplish? He's already feeling claustrophobic, knowing they're out in space in a ship and the only way he's even alive is because of this strange situation. He'll never see the Paris of his youth again. He'll probably never see his mother again. It's a miracle that Albert is here, but he's suspicious of it.

What's left, if he can't admit he's afraid to face this?

Just like he could never face so many truths, just laughed at them over his shoulder and held on tightly to the boy in front of him when he knew, he knew he would lose Albert someday, he just couldn't let it be like that...


No, it has to be jokes as usual.]

Hey, one of us has to stay levelheaded here, y'know.

[His voice says looks like it's me again.]

[assumedposition]

To hell with being level-headed!

[Someone should write that on Albert's coat of arms. But how else is he supposed to feel right now? Is he supposed to be calm and joke around like Franz? He can't do that. "You don't understand," is on the tip of his tongue, but that wouldn't be fair, so he catches himself. Of course Franz doesn't understand. How could he?

I'm responsible for your death, I didn't listen, I was so selfish and stubborn. I watched you die. I felt the warmth drain out of your body, I held you after the last breath left your body and until the paramedics came and they had to pull me off you. I stood at your gravestone. Every day I prayed that next jump you'd be here, and every night I have that nightmare again where your blood is on my hands and I can't get it off. You left me, and it's my fault, and now I've changed, but I'm still trying to desperately cling on to who I was. How the hell can I be level headed?

He almost says it. There's a long pause where he thinks it. But the days when Albert would blurt out exactly what he was thinking without a care for anyone else's feelings have faded. Eventually he lets go of the breath he didn't know he was holding, and what comes out is:]

... Sorry. I'm still a little ... overwhelmed, that's all.

[discretion]

[The first thing says is so typical Albert that Franz barely contains his fond laugh. He seems strangely quiet, after that, and Franz isn't sure how to respond when he was expecting more shouting.

What has happened between them is huge, and it's his fault in a way. How can one mend a gulf like death? The Count had already lured Albert so far away from him, further than their respective marriages and eventual duties would pull them from each other.]

You're not the only one, okay?

[Franz holds Albert close, almost cradling him for a long moment. This place is different, but Albert's hair, his skin still smell like he remembers. It's buried beneath the sterile, mechanical scent of this place but it's there. Albert is here, and real, and he never thought he'd see him again.

He sort of wishes he could cry, so he would stop feeling so raw yet plugged up inside.]