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THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME STRIKES BACK

TEST DRIVE MEME

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[ lute is a believer in all kinds of things. i mean, he's a half-breed fairy, so he's sort of obligated.

so! suddenly, there's a teeny tiny fairy that doesn't belong to tooth in your face, jack, and s/he(?) is beaming excitedly!!! ]

Hullo!! Are you a winter god? Are you new here? Oh! You could be a half-breed, I suppose-- Or Jack Frost! Are you Jack Frost? Hi, I'm Lute, I like your ice, but it's very cold, can I touch your hair?

[Waking up suspended in a tube of fluid should be akin to a nightmare for Lee. He knows just enough about the resurrection ships the Cylon used to download consciousnesses that finding himself in what appears to be one absolutely horrific. As the blue liquid drains, Lee frantically pulls the breathing apparatus out but his memories are just a bit fuzzy.

What was he doing last?

Why is he here?

Where is Galactica?

Though he's completed hundreds faster-than-light jumps, the jump Tranquility made leaves him foggy at first. Lee stumbles his way to the locker room, easily finding the number that matches both his dog tags and his new arm tattoo he's mostly been ignoring. Seeing the numbers plainly helps stir up just enough thoughts that fragmented pieces come and go.

Caught up in trying to sort the confusing mess in his head, Lee towels himself off in an unimpressive fashion and mostly forgets his hair. Eventually he gets into the crew suit that's been provided. He doesn't really have much of a desire to leave though. Something is horribly wrong and with every passing moment the notion that perhaps he's always been a Cylon continues to rise.

As does his abject horror, so he might just be getting sick into the nearest trash can or lavatory.]

I'll do my best! [Franz laughs, clapping him on the back. He tries to make it into a joke, for when would such a situation ever turn up in their lives again? Then again, they've been thrust into a totally unknown situation. It could very well happen again.

...And he would do it in a heartbeat for an Albert. He's quite certain that won't change.]

[She barely has the patience for Abed's meta shenanigans in a place like this. Her voice stays sweet though.]

Abed, I know you love space movies, but I really think you shouldn't be so happy we're here. The Lord certainly didn't intend for me to be floating up in space like Darth Vader.

[She just chose the nearest reference she knew.]

[Are you absolutely sure you're not Tooth's? Seem just as excited -]

Got it in three - here - [a perfect tiny ball of snow is created in the palm of his hand] one snow minus the cone.

[ he knows people sometimes don't do it on purpose, and especially not someone like konoe, but he still can't help the abrupt way with which he turns his head to the side the familiar voice is coming from. half of his world is drowned in darkness, and despite the fact that it's been so long he eventually got used to it, it doesn't mean he likes to be reminded of it by the way he'll always have a blind side enemies can sneak up more easily to. ]

It started on its own.

[ rai isn't exactly the type to go out of his way and look for trouble, especially when it meant dealing with an annoyingly complicated thing that is supposed to connect him with other people. like he'd want to connect with them in the first place, really. he certainly didn't ask for it, so why should he deal with this mess?

still, the tone konoe uses to say his name —
it's the first time he hears it, and yet it sounds almost familiar. no, not familiar, it's just that it tugs at something inside him. something that tells him that he should know and recognise what's behind it and yet he can't bring himself to fully grasp it.
it's gone before he can investigate further, leaving him with an actually familiar numbness. ]

Stupid cat. Always getting into trouble.

[ like the situation they're in now, as absurd as it sounds. ]

[She turns to face him, narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips.]

You forfeited all right to expectations of civility long ago. [A beat] Yet, as you say, it seems we are forced together by circumstance. [The words leave a bitter taste in her mouth, but she's not even going to pretend she's capable of taking him on alone, even with Nenya. For the moment, the name of the game is patience- to watch and to wait.]

There are two others; a Jedi Master named Quinlan Vos, and Padawan Kenobi. Obi-Wan. Though he isn't the man you may remember. Time behaves strangely here, and each of us from our Galaxy seem to have come from a different moment in history. [it's been a problem they've all had to contend with from the moment that more than one of them had arrived. still, anakin has no idea of just how much of his future obi-wan is now aware of. just as he has no idea how many of his own assumptions of his future are true or not.

but now luke is here and already he seems to be...easier to deal with than han has been so far. he might actually be willing to give answers to his questions instead of skirting around the truth. but above all else, maybe luke will be able to provide an explanation that'll actually make sense.

it's an explanation that'll have to wait though. for now, he needs to make sure that luke understand just what he's been drawn in to by being brought here. for now, this is his job here. to make sure that the other jedi is as prepared for being trapped aboard the tranquility as possible.]

There are two others here as well. Han Solo and a Senator from shortly after my time named Bail Organa. I'm sure that they will all want to meet you. [or at least han and obi-wan, for obvious reasons.]

[It's such a sudden glance that his ears fall back, easing forward again slowly soon as it happens. He'll have to remember that, whether it's the stasis making him jumpy or not.

Konoe isn't back to full function himself, his headaches post-jump pretty much chronic after so many. But he still has it in him to feel a little affronted by Rai's assertion, and while there's less spark in it than most of his retorts hold, his tail still gives a twitch in fuss.]

Stupid - ? I'm not the one in trouble!

[He can't move too quickly, but he chances getting closer still, to crouch down and pick up the thing on the floor to silence it at last. He could do with less noise himself.]

I'm here to help you.

[Bail can't shake the feeling that there's something familiar about the young man. He almost looks like... well, he can't quite put his finger on who.

And then he realizes he's staring.]

Pardon me.

You need to work on your welcome, there. Not exactly reassuring.

[ Yyyyyeah, this is way okayer than. He'd have expected Han to be next he saw him. Then again, he'd expected Han to be in carbonite next he saw him. ]

You're, uh-- You look good.

[ Hello, pretty lady. This is perfectly timed, and he flashes a roguish grin accordingly. Whoever she is, she's got spunk because hey, who wouldn't try to get into a restricted access area? It's where all the fun is. ]

Was looking for somebody who could answer that same question, actually - new arrival, me. [ Extending a hand. ] Though if the company promises to be this pleasant, I can't say I mind.

[ Look at all this fucking charm, man. ]

[Look at all that charm indeed. He gets Rose to crack an amused smile, a toothy one that the tip of her tongue shows through. With a soft laugh, she reaches out to take hold of his hand and gives it a good shake.]

I'm Rose. Also new.

[She glances around the area to see if there's anyone else around that can help them figure things out, but there's no one. Oh well, they can just push on ahead all by themselves.]

Got bored with standing around the places we're allowed t'go so I thought it'd be fun to try seeing someplace new. We could try getting past this point together...or not. All depends on how much you like trouble.

[Is she currently getting terrible, no good, very bad ideas about breaking and entering into her head? Yes she is. Anyplace that's locked up is just begging to be discovered and rifled through.]

[ he smiles at the apology, bright and charming (if a little worn-out), and shakes his head. ] It's fine. [ he may be on a strange ship in the middle of unknown space, but being stared at is something he's become accustomed to since destroying the first death star. (even if it's not for the same reason here.) ]

I probably look like a small disaster right now.

[ a jedi master. a jedi master is here. the relief is so great that he almost sags with it, eyes sliding briefly shut. in his own time, maybe he really is the last, and he's not ready. he's not sure he could have ever been ready. but-- having someone else here, someone else from the old order that he can learn from, pick up things that master yoda and ben hadn't had the time to pass on to him..

the force certainly works in unusual and unexpected ways, sometimes. who would have imagined something like this would happen? and-- obi-wan.. he'd already known, of course, but to have it confirmed is nice. his old teacher as a young man, perhaps, if a padawan is the equivalent of a student. (there is so much that luke still needs to ask about.)

the mention of han and bail organa, of all people, earns a faintly startled glance up, though. ] --Bail Organa? [ leia's father? ] What an unexpected group of people to have been collected together. Ah-- Han is a friend of mine, though. I hope he hasn't been too sarcastic to all of you.

Feh! [He puts out a claw in an "eh" motion, in sort of a shrug.] I got two stomachs. Maybe more.

[Oh but maybe he will get sick. In fact, he ate up pretty much everything in the kitchen in a rapid fashion... suddenly he puts his claws over his mouth and his eyes widen slightly in nausea.]

'Scuse me for a moment! [And he runs into the other room where sounds of retching are heard.]

[ why is he not stopping. sam gives him another mildly judgmental look before glancing around to make sure he's not actually talking to anyone else. which no, he's not, he's just talking to himself.

he's seen that before. there were plants involved that time, but the principle was the same. ]

You been out here a long time, buddy?

[ see also: you look fucking nuts right now. ]

[Her own stare is a mixture of amusement and irritation. She doesn't appreciate being forcibly taken to another foreign place, but at least it promises to be interesting.]

The surprises just keep on coming.

[ Wow. Um...

Gross.

Ryan can deal with some gross things, yeah. I.E- Wilfred eating the remains of some dead animal hit by a lawn mower, or road kill. But this is a new kind of grossness (and a cartoon character he used to watch on TV. seriously) and he can't help feeling a little queasy.

Especially when Zoidberg looks up and swallows down an entire chicken. Along with eating everything in sight, it seems that he's also eaten up Ryan's appetite... ]

Well, yeah....I guess...

[ Ryan just kind of wants to leave this guy to his eating. But at the same time... ]

Are you Zoidberg...?

[She lets him rush past her, her nose wrinkling up as she tries to hum to herself and not listen to an alien throwing up massive quantities of food. Whenever he gets back, she's found herself a nice bag of crisps and is perched up on one of the countertops, happily devouring them.]

I'm makin' tea, if you're up for it. Might help you feel better.

[Hopefully. She doesn't think she can handle hearing more retching sounds today.]

[It doesn't escape Albert's notice-- Franz has still been his best friend for the better part of a decade, after all. Albert might still miss much, but at the very least he's familiar with the way Franz is an expert in changing the subject, or in making something serious into a joke, to avoid being scrutinized too closely. Albert sighs.]

... There you go again-- you're always like that. I'm being serious here.

[It's almost too much to take in. Franz is here. Right here, beside him. Alive. Alive and breathing and joking, like everything is fine, everything is normal and nothing bad at all had happened.]

Why of course I am! Who else but Zoidberg?

[He speaks enthusiastically, spreading his arms open in almost a ta-da motion.]

[Zoidberg shuffles back in the room, looking much less sick and much more content.

He is actually mildly surprised that this woman is offering him tea.]

Tea? For Zoidberg? Oh, what joy! I'm wanted!

[He actually looks happy now, mouth formed in the closest thing to a smile his face can approximate.]

'Course there's tea for you.

[Chuckling at his reaction, she sets the crisps aside and moves to hop off the countertop.]

Anyway, not sure if I said this already or not, but I'm Rose. And as long as I'm here, there'll always be tea for Zoidberg. Promise.

[She knows that there's a lot of humans here, from what she's seen. And she knows very well what it's like to look different and act different than the general majority, and to feel alone. She doesn't want that for this guy. He seems nice enough they could be friends of some kind.]

So, where're you from exactly?

[ shirley in space is off-script enough that abed is willing to drop the narration, at least temporarily. ]

I thought that was the whole plotline of the Rapture.

[ he's not really surprised that she's here, though: it wouldn't be his life without regular appearances by the rest of the study group. for the first time, he wonders if troy's here somewhere too. ]

Besides, Buzz Aldrin was a Presbyterian. He flew to the moon in 1969 and asked everyone to give thanks.

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