ataraxioff | THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME RIDES AGAIN.

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THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME RIDES AGAIN.

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[ covered in translucent goo? check. disoriented and uncoordinated? check. cold and alone in an alien location? check.

fml.

SHIELD can only prepare a man for so much. with all the alien crap they've been dealing with since day one, plus recent run-ins with asgardian demi-gods and the creepy space creatures that fund their plot for world domination, clint can't say he's surprised. being taken off guard is the opposite of what he's good at, however, but he can play calm, cool, collected for now.

gather intel, figure out where you are, shoot your way out if you need to.

he gets cleaned off like everyone else seems to be doing, matches the tattoo on his arm up with the locker (perhaps the irony is lost on his captors). his bow is there, arrows, standard issue gear, even a phone. ]

I think these people failed Kidnapping 101.

[ he says it as dryly as he can manage to whoever's close enough to listen. ]

[ the first thing tony thinks upon seeing clint? third time's the charm. the second thing tony thinks upon seeing clint? fuck me i'm going to have to explain the eye.

in a twist of fate, it's tony who happens to be close enough to listen because he's making his rounds checking for people before he heads up to engineering to make sure the ship isn't in danger of exploding and then taking what we like to call a nap. he could just not say anything to clint, but that sounds boring and as such tony just casually speaks, like he doesn't have a terminator eye in his eye socket and like they aren't all stuck on a creepy hell ship. ]

Depends on which 101 class you took.

[ clint knows that voice, despite not really being around tony stark much. except that time they saved new york city, and damn if iron man didn't have a mouth on him during an operation. clint's just getting his SHILED uniform jacket zipped up (he needs to send whoever gave him this sweet set up a thank you card) as he turns to face stark. is it really all that surprising he furrows his eyebrows and leans in a little when he sees the eye? ]

Fury insisted I take the spy version. Whoever brought us here definitely didn't get advanced placement.

[ yeah, screw being polite, he's not letting this sly. ] Stark? What the hell happened to your eye?

[ priorities: clint has them. ]

[ assuming that they ever have more missions together ( or stay in any form of close contact ) clint will likely learn that tony cannot actually shut up during the times when he ( they ) save the world. it's a problem and one he's refusing to work on.

but clint, honestly, you're about as subtle as a stampede of elephants. what happened to spy subtlety, huh? ]

They got the futuristic, Geneva Conventions gone wild version. You enjoy your weapons, I get my suit, it's special.

[ stampede of elephants: clint is one. ] Do you want the long story of the short one?

Edited (yes i edited this just to capitalize a word LEAVE ME ALONE) 2013-03-26 19:16 (UTC)

[ you're confusing him with his calm, cool, collected partner who's really bad about switching her spy mode off. clint, on the other hand, forgets to turn it on sometimes. clearly they both have a few things they should probably be working on. ]

Well, at least they know how to throw a party. [ or clint's equivalent of one because he gets his bow and arrows. he imagines tony having his ~~baby~~ suit here falls under that category as well, let's be real.

that shield dossier on hawkeye clearly didn't cover that. ]

Whichever one gives me context of where the hell we are.

[ alternatively, it's why they make a bit of a badass team. evening out or something to that effect. tony doesn't really dwell on it that much because natasha is just natasha and too many months realizing that in half close quarters makes a guy know that way too well. but maybe one day shield will force them all to work on their problems and— the avengers will promptly be screwed because no one likes superheroes who are perfect. ]

At least I'm not bringing it this time. [ which is not even remotely funny, except to tony it is because this continues to not be his fault.

and this is going to be a not fun story. ]

Well, since you asked so nicely, I'll give you the tiny version. Welcome to the Tranquility, home of things that aren't fun to deal with and things that take my eye when I go on adventures in the dark depths of it. Lesson learned about always having a buddy with me.

[ that would sound slightly more believable if tony didn't say the last part so flippantly. oops. ]

I don't know, I think they're doing a pretty good job of it.

[ the voice coming from behind clint, which should sound familiar, is just as dry as his, and the person it belongs to is leaning against the opposite row with her arms crossed, waiting for him to turn around. when he does, she straightens and comes close enough for them to keep their voices low when they talk. ]

Hello, Clint.

[ welcome back. ]

[ her voice snaps his attention away from his locker, and he throws a glance over his shoulder just to be sure it's the same redheaded assassin he imagines that voice goes with contradicting his comment. he closes his locker and turns to face her after grabbing the rest of the things (his things, still weird) out of it. ]

Natasha. [ he glances around eyebrow quirking up as he looks back over to her. ] This some kind of reunion, 'cause I feel like I'm missing something.

[ like why the hell tony's minus an eye and where the hell they are, for instance. ]

Edited 2013-03-26 09:07 (UTC)

Something like that, yeah.

[ she'd spotted tony talking to him before, so she figures he's at least brough clint up to date on the eye, but there's still a lot of other ground to cover. namely, everything that has to do with the ship itself, people to take note of, and that he's been here before. twice. ]

How much did Stark fill you in on?

[ he gives her a bit of a subtle look that should say it all. this is stark after all, masterful communicator and thorough as ever in that quick voice of his. the sarcasm was off the charts but it's never quite a proper debriefing if it's not the cut-and-dry facts—they both know that's the black widow's strong suit. ]

Enough for me to know resistance is futile. [ there is no hope, they've been here way too long, you know, the light stuff. ] Though I'm trying to figure out why I can't remember a goddamn thing about this place and you seem to be right at home.

[ the two of them know that, and tony knows her well enough by now to know which information to divulge himself and which to let her fill him in on. she needs to be careful with this; to not pile on too much at once and to not let any particularly relevant information slip through the cracks. she shakes her head. ]

I don't know. Sometimes when people leave, they come back not remembering anything about this place. Sometimes they come back remembering everything. [ a beat. ] I did.

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