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THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME STRIKES BACK

TEST DRIVE MEME

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Nah, don't want that mate. Heard you can get stuck in there for weeks, and some don't come out at all.

[ Ew, gross, don't get that on him. He just showered. ]

[ Lady.

That sounds legitimate enough for him. ] Alright. Just wondering.

I'll let you go and eat.

I guess.

So it seems.

[ And at least it comes with the benefit of a reliable... well, a reliable someone for company. She can think of numerous imPorts who could have been taken instead off the top of her head, all of them completely inexcusable. Bellatrix Lestrange has never been that. ]

Would you be kind enough to kill it, if that's what it comes to? We've only just showered -- I wouldn't want to make a mess.

What? [ She's glancing first at R, brows knit, then over her shoulder to make sure they're out of earshot. Not that it really even matters, anyway. ] Seriously, I was gone for like five minutes, there is no way you got into trouble in five minutes.

[ Because she assumes he's apologizing like 'oops I did a thing while you weren't looking'. Not like 'oops blah blah canonpoints blah blah ate your boyfriend'. ] I mean, you move like two miles an hour, [ she finishes her mini-tirade under her breath, then: ] What did you do?

[--Okay, I may be dead, but I'm pretty sure it's been a few hours.

So he just

shrugs

because there is no way in hell he's going to bring that back up yet.]

Where...--are we?

[Because--blue goo? Big metal world full of lockers and people? Maybe this is the human resistance thing. Maybe this is where Julie lives? He has no clue, but he figures she might be smart enough to know; after all, look how awesome she is at blending.]

Your... home?

Of course. [Her wand, fortunately, is in her grip. At least whatever brought them here is aware enough not to risk taking Bellatrix's magic away from her.]

And after that, I'm sure someone would be willing to answer any questions we may have.

[ Wow she takes back all of those praising thoughts in regards to useful. Useful just became freaky, and maybe weeks from now she'll laugh about something like this, but right now she's just very concerned. ]

Offering? What...kind of offering would I have to prepare?

[ Really Sirius, this is just mean. ]

[ Except she's pretty sure that it is impossible. At least what she's thinking, anyway.

Then again, until a few hours ago magically appearing on a space ship with no real reason or explanation as to how or why she landed there had seemed impossible too, so her view on what's impossible and what isn't s a little skewed.

Still, it's pretty hard to bring something like that up without it being awkward as hell, not to mention every conversation is more uncomfortable when you're wearing a towel, so for now she's just going to...tackle one issue at a time. Issue number one being the aforementioned towel. ]

My locker? I have a locker here?

[ ...Yes, that is totally the one detail that should be questioned thoroughly. Good job. ]

Well, y'see--

[He looks around, paranoid--like someone is going to be listening in on this. Or some thing. Once the coast is more or less clear, he leans a little closer, dropping his tone.]

It's a sandwich.

[And quickly, he adds, holding up a hand to stop her--] Don't laugh. Whatever you do. But this is the most serious sandwich you will ever prepare.

[ it's unlike any place she's ever seen. maybe taller even than the tower of salvation and she hasn't even been there yet. there's strange things but above all else, there's the fact that she's soaking wet, naked as the day she was born. the little blonde, only 5'2, fumbles around holding a damp hand against the wall as a guide mark, clumps of goo wedged unpleasantly between her toes, cemented into her hair.

if she could just get to these 'showers' that everyone kept talking about, she could be clean, right? then look for her friends and -- oh.

it should have been expected, granted her experience with gravity, but all too easily did the girl slip on her feet and hit the ground with an audible thud.

at least her hands had shielded her head at least! there was fortune to be found in that, and colette was more than grateful that the goo for once, was hiding her red face. ]

Oh no...

Your kind, [thinly, but evenly.] deemed it forfeit. But you are only one, and I have not lost the ability to be civil.

[nor the ability to be otherwise. but he chooses civil, because to do anything else would be stupid and foolish. and he is neither.]

Neither have I reason to be anything but civil, here. Yet. [narrowing his eyes, and taking another spoonful of goop. or stew. whatever it is.]

Edited 2013-05-04 05:57 (UTC)

I do not doubt your capacity for civility, nor your charm. It has been long since we spoke thusly, face to face, but I have not forgotten Annatar.

I forget nothing. [And he's racked up a rather large list of grievances.]

[ definitely insane. ]

... Sam Bell.

[ he shouldn't ask, right. ]

And it genuinely scares me that I'm hoping 'audience' means the room full of naked people.

I am aware that life isn't television. Or a film. But you have to admit, waking up on a spaceship in a pod is kind of a tired science fiction trope. My friend who thinks she's my therapist says that this is how I cope with situations I don't understand. Personally I think she's wrong. I understand what's happening, Sam Bell. It's just easier if there's a reason. Some people want that reason to be god. I prefer the Truman Show. Of course, breaking the fourth wall like this ruins the illusion.

[ Asleep in Exsilium, asleep not home, but what's serving the purpose well enough. There one minute, here the next, still sleeping.

He woke to a totally different world around him, a cold spot in the bed where she'd been warm and with him.

and now he's just... Perusing. Learning. Interacting. ] Out of home, into there, out of there, into here - starting to feel a little like Odysseus 'cept my Penelope doesn't seem to have made the leap with me. Starting over, again. Sure. It'll be fine.

[ Ah, yes, the very same confusion. He tries to give her a good-natured smile to ease the terror and shock and anything else that she could be fighting. ]

Everyone on the ship's got a locker. And since you're on the ship, you'll have one too. [ he pulls up the sleeve on his jumpsuit, showing her his arm and by association his tattoo. ] See that second number? Should be the number of your locker.

[ Stop shrugging

you shrugger

no, seriously, stop it. ]

My home? [ She echoes, because she is definitely confused now. ] You've seen-... [ You've seen her home, R. Remember, the whole entirely ironic Romeo and Juliet montage? But that's not the important part right now, so she shakes her head. ] No, this is definitely not my home.

[ And she looks around for a minute, then swallows, and sounding a little more unsure: ] Okay, so this sounds totally crazy, but I... kind of think we're in space. [ A glance his direction to see what he makes of it. Then, for emphasis: ] Like... space. [ A finger pointing upward, at where the sky usually is. Then her brow knits for a second. ] Or I guess now that's... [ The finger pointing upward now makes an 'all directions' sort of loop. Because if they're in space, that means it's all around them, right? She's new at this, sorry R. ]

Edited 2013-05-06 14:47 (UTC)

[ A new Blue team...? A. New. Blue... Yes. Yes, he is liking this. Consider hand shook.

...which slowly turns into hand holding. Don't mind him. ]

Yes! Deal! We can be the New Blue Team. We can do everything that the old Blue team did except for the being mean to me parts! And shooting at me parts... [ What else would you suggest, Caboose. ] We should make more things in our team. I would like that.

[It's okay, she's used to holding hands and walking around, she doesn't mind. She gives their arms a slight swing and nods to each thing on his list.]

What kinda things? I'm not exactly an architect or an artist, y'know. Everything else I think we can handle, though. No shooting at you, not ever.

[and here comes the confused staring

Julie, he's a simple mind, in some regards. This would be one of those regards. I mean, there have been times where he's looked at the stars, found himself strangely captivated--but any logic beyond them, any science to be found, had been lost in a dizzying spell of a.) hunger for flesh or b.) shuffling off and assuming the sky was just as dead as he was for the night. Black and blue, with some twinkle of something alive.

But mostly just dead and cold.

julie what the hell does that all even mean]

--space?

[He sort of--half-assedly motions too, all stiff, a piss poor imitation.]

...

Where's--space?

[I feel like this is a stupid question. I know this answer.

Why can't I remember this kind of thing? Every time I think about it, it's like a survivor clocks me in the chin with the butt of a gun. A gun they lovingly called Captain Obvious.

And why does something about space remind him of children? Kids?

He's not sure. Nothing about this seems childlike, soooo...]

[ Don't look at her like that, R. You know where space is, somewhere deep down. ....Or maybe you don't, she's not so in-the-loop on what it's like to be dead.

Either way, she seems a little stalled on how to explain, but only for a second. Then: ] It's like the sky--y'know the sky, right?--but past it. Where the stars are.

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