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THE MOTHERFUCKING TEST DRIVE MEME RIDES AGAIN.

TEST DRIVE MEME

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[Now that was a voice she didn't expect to hear on this ship. She spun around and offered a grin]

Crichton. Just when I thought this dimension couldn't possibly be more ridiculous.

I suppose you've been given the needed information upon your waking.

[ zoe can count them and point them out and maybe laugh a little because if they're going to be disrespectful might as well actually be that way.

though, yeah, mal don't shake the keychain at her because you know what, she's just going to take it from you because, seriously. ]

You mean the one you just shook in my face or— [ and yeah motioning to all the ship things around them. because BOTH ANSWERS ARE VERY CORRECT. ]

[He often checks on the new arrivals; it's the nurse in him. The short man asking for a towel is handed a standard issue cloth just large enough to wrap around his waste]

Here. Showers are just past the lockers. Don't worry if you feel nauseous or forgetful, it's all part of waking up in the pods.

[ wow, rude - it's just like home. not quite as comforting as it could be under the circumstances, actually. ]

If by given the needed information you mean "seen more strange junk than I did in four years of high school football" - then yes, yes I have. If you're asking me if I know what the hell is going on...

[ but then his tone evens out into something slightly more serious, and his eyes narrow a bit while he observes her. ]

You have no idea where this is.

[ yep, she's blaming you for this one, sir. like most of the times she's left playing catch-up on a sticky situation as it's happening, she assumes it's because Mal's gone and made some Big Captainly Decision and left her in the dark until the last minute because he knows she can handle it. so, she's assuming that has to be what's going on here, on some level, because it's better than assuming they've both been taken without reason. and it's all there in her expression, even if she's not saying it. she's not exactly keen on getting snatched-up either, but there's no use in getting up-in-arms about it right away. especially when the captain's already been given a reason to, what with that.. tiny Firefly replica. so she sets her hands on her hips and tries her very hardest to seem calm, cool, and collected. as usual. ]

This ain't exactly your crew either, captain.

[ between the lines of her statement reads something along the lines of "who are all these people and why are we here" and ( IN A VERY RESPECTFUL, ZOE WAY OF SUGGESTING: ) "might want to cool down until we figure out what's going on"

... and the mun has no idea how to do the nifty text translation, so we'll just say that she asks in Chinese, a little quieter- "What now?". which of course means what do we do/what next/what do you make of this and everything in between. ]

Edited (lol words) 2013-03-25 07:13 (UTC)

Well this one does. I'm not asking for a full-body massage, here.

[ just some lightly scented soap. on which point ronon smells a bit like a wildebeest, so there's also that.

and actually, "not wraith" is a pretty okay start in john's book. still doesn't make any sense, and - yeah, sorry, he's really stuck on this, because this is just sloppy writing. ]

Who the hell kidnaps people and then arms them?

Edited (SPELLIngs) 2013-03-25 07:35 (UTC)

You laughing at my very serious misfortune, woman?

[ he'll be staring mournfully at his ship, now-- or what was his ship, but what is now sadly small, silver and pocket sized. ]

A man buys himself a ship, he expects it not to pull some shrinking trick and land itself in a crazy space locker.

[Her own eyes narrow at him and she crosses her arms]

I've been here before. This is a ship that pulls people from different dimensions.

[Of course she doesn't know WHERE they are, but she's not going to acknowledge that fact especially to Crichton]

[ wait, what. ]

An Arthur? What planet - [ oh wait that's a name. that's a... that's an earth name. he'd been thinking of the guy as english, but he also secretly thought of aeryn as australian. it's just one of those relateability things, right.

so now his eyes are narrowed in suspicion, and he sounds very, very dubious when he asks the next question. ]

Where are you from?

[ jack is no stranger to throwing up, typically there's more blood when there's something coming out of his mouth, but that's the funny detail isn't it? the one no one talks about because that's the first rule. you don't talk about the club. except you do because how else do people know and that's the weird thing about everything.

but no, the throwing up and the fact that he feels like he's gone ten rounds with someone isn't what makes him question what's going on. this is normal. this is what happens when you fight and you don't win. you have this happen. but no, what makes him question all of this ( somewhere tyler's judging him telling him to question everything you fuck ) is the fact that it looks like a goddamn futuristic sci-fi bullshit set which isn't where he was originally.

of course the eloquent way of phrasing what's going on that comes from his lips while he's getting up shakily? well— ]

The fuck is this?

To be fair, I don't think any of this is what anyone here expected. What's that saying? "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

[she comes closer to have a better look]

Too bad. It was a cute ship.

[ The jumps are routine at this point, which is depressing in and of itself, but it also means it's easy for Josh to let his attention wander while he goes through the motions.

He's slipping on his necklace when he notices the girl with the tea. For a bizarre second he sees someone else entirely, because the gray sweater is slightly uncanny - but it's not her, and his heart resumes its normal pace. Either way, it means he's paying attention when she speaks, and it'd be a dick move to just ignore the newbies when you're standing right there.

He's still messing in his locker a bit, but he pauses to look over and offer her a sympathetic smile. ]

You want the family friendly version or the useful one? Nice sweater, by the way.

Jack's creepy spaceship.

[she's seen this movie, sorry about that fourth wall]

Arthur, Arthur, Arthur. What do I keep telling you?

No, look, I know.

[ he sounds exasperated, and totally unsurprised to hear ford. ]

Someone's taken all my clothes, if you hadn't noticed.

[ it's hard to miss. ]

Naturally.

[ and by naturally he means 'bullshit'. he'll believe that when he sees it, and all he can see right now is your flying roombas. ]

And - I can see you're committed to this "good" image, and I mean absolutely no offense, but - you may want to consider a new stylist. "Bald with a goatee" doesn't exactly scream trustworthy.

[ well. it's certainly a better welcome than he usually gets. he takes the towel and starts wiping of his face, making a brrr noise as he pays the goo off. ]

Right. Thanks. Do you — work here?

[ what he wants to ask is where the fuck am I but he's too polite. ]

[ tyler hooks his chin over your shoulder, materializing seemingly out of nowhere ( everywhere? ) his voice both joyous and sepulchral. ]

Your worst nightmare.

[ he cackles and it's more like shrieking. ]

I'm just fuckin' with you. Love that shit-- quality family film, Mulan. Put a cockshot right over grandma's face, once. [ he sighs, rapturously. ] Quality family film.

London.

[ he responds promptly, and then grimaces. ]

Which is on Earth. Was, sorry. Was on Earth. You probably haven't heard of it.

[ arthur dent, hipster hitch-hiker. ]

You get those?

[ no one should ever have let ronon hang out with the marines, okay.

and at that question, his grip on his gun is downright affectionate. ]

Stupid kidnappers. [ he's not working on stun, okay. ] Their mistake.

[ subtext: their last one. ]

Kaylee? [ it's a near tossup between his poor darling ship and mechanic, but mechanic wins out. meaningful hugs are happening, never let it be spoken of again. ]

Now, what have I told you about runnin' off into all manner of creepifying places with tubes and whatnot? We let Jayne go first, then we laugh at him.

[ a deep sigh. ]

They tinied up my girl, Kaylee. They shrunk her.

[ there's a delay in which john probably looks more angry than anything, but then he closes the gap between them and embraces arthur in a very firm hug that may involve lifting him off the floor an inch or two. he releases him a second later, hands going to his shoulders instead, and now he's smiling instead of looking scary.

actually no, he might still look scary on account of wearing lots of leather and hugging a naked man, but whatever. ]

Sweet jesus, you have no idea how happy I am to see you. Well, not you specifically, but - Earth, man. Do you know how long it's been since I talked sports with someone who actually knew what the hell "football" meant?

You sayin' you ain't my crew, Zoe?

[ because all these strange folk milling around can... well, they're probably decent and upright in general and don't deserve to end up burning for all eternity if the fuzzy-wuzzy believers are right, but they can go to hell all the same. only one crew matters, to mal's way of thinking. ]

You see what they did to her? Couldn't pilot that thing without being shrunk up myself, and since I don't much relish the idea of being shrunk, I say we find the nice folks in charge and have a quiet chat about letting us get back on our way.

[ waaaaaaaaait for it. ]

And then we can shoot 'em.

[ it's his sad and tiny ship and nobody's taking it from him, even if it is an insult and a shame and a gorramn travesty. it's his insult and a shame and a gorramn travesty, so there.

he'll be pulling it back, all the same. zoe's got no real respect for the lack of grabby hands a first mate oughta live up to. ]

The tiny one, but now that you bring the other up-- I don't like the feel of this. Too clean. [ and clean means alliance. ] Think we got snatched up somewhere clean and fast, don't remember the trip?

[it's weird. it's weird and grand and cold and gooey, and he only took his eyes off the buttons for a moment to examine the walls of this... thing. this lift. because it seems to be made of metal and something else, like the rest of this vessel. very strange, very fascinating, and--

and now the entire thing is moving and mairon very nearly curses aloud (mutters, more like), turning around to see what the hell is happening. and consequently sending the child(?) an accusing look.

do you mind he's trying to admire the workmanship here.]

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